Way to short and you've gone back to long blocked paragraphs. You are supposed to start a new one each time someone different talks, or something new happens/is going on.
I fell as if you have taken a step or five backwards.
Chapters 1,2, and 3 should be combined, but stop when Lucy blacks out. Leave a cliff hanger for the reader. Doing so will cause questions in the readers mind and then they will want to know more, causing them to come back. Chapters 4 and 5 should also be combined. Chapters are like paragraphs, when the main idea is over, so is the paragraph. Don't start a new idea and not complete it, as in chapter 3.
Don't have time to do a full review so here is a partial one;
I noticed the Grunt walk out.
Earlier you said; "
My suggestion is:
Go ahead and write the rest of your story on paper, doesn't have to be perfect. Then as you write the chapters, you will not have plot confusions again.