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Old July 23rd, 2008 (10:18 AM).
Sydian's Avatar
Sydian
1000 forms of fear
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Nature: Timid
Um. Excuse me, but what is this?

Quote:
When he got their, Oak was standing next to a rock.
You used the wrong one. It should be 'there'. Check out the Grammar Sticky in the lounge.

Quote:
including Seed Flare, Grass Know, and Solorbeam.
Proofreading is key. And it's solar, not solor.

Anyway, this thing is horribly lacking in description, and I don't even know what you were trying to accomplish. This story makes no sense at all, which is why description is needed. Badly.

Quote:
Ash walked into it and there on a bed of flowers he say a mysterious pokemon that looked like a little hedgehog with a green back and a flower on his face.
Okay, look. In this sentence, I have no clue what you're trying to convey. It's a run-on sentence. Major. And Shaymin doesn't have a flower on its face. The flower is on the side. When I read that, I'm thinking of a Shaymin with a flower smack on his face.

This needs work. Go check the stickies in the lounge.

-Silver
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