[As the other characters argue, a shadow slowly makes its way across the thread and a man drops down onto the stage that the Midsummer characters are on top of. Slowly, he makes his way across it, careful to avoid their sight, until he reaches an extremely shiny jewel. He grins before lunging for it, just in time to be tripped by a fairly sleepy-looking teenage boy who is typing something on a lattop and completely engrossed in it.
Gale: Owww.... Whadidya do that for?
Thesis: [not looking up from the laptop] Because it amuses me to cause you pain. Observe. [Thesis immediately pulls what appears to be an anvil from the space behind him and drops it on Gale's foot.
Thesis: See? It amuses me. Greatly. In fact, I think I'll try-
[A large, disgruntled Pidgeot swoops onto the stage, knocking Thesis head over heels and sending his laptop flying out into the "audience".]
Thesis: No! My laptop! [He attempts to dive off the stage, but is restrained by a large Rhydon wearing a flower necklace]
Thesis: [Struggling] Let me go! Without my laptop, life is not worth living!
Aristophanes: Tha latop has goone oover the aedge, ye daft idiot! Yer life is nae worth losin' o'er a piece o' equipment!
Thesis: [Sobbing]: No! You don't understand- the third chapter of my fic was on that laptop!
[The cast of Thief in the Night, who have all by this time assembled on the stage and gathered around Thesis, step back in alarm]
Gale: You mean...
Thesis: Yes! Thanks to that idiot Rhydon... [He points accusingly] Chapter three has been delayed until I can get that laptop replaced! And why do you have a chain of flowers around your neck, anyway?
Augustus: He thought you were on vacation a few weeks ago. I had to explain the difference between that and "hiatus" at least three times, but he wouldn't listen. Ran off and went to Hawaii looking for you.
Thesis: You thought I could afford a trip to Hawaii? Jeez, how daft are my characters these days? [looks at assembled]. Oh... hi. Umm... I'm Thesis, that's Gale [he jabs a finger at the thief, That's his partner, Augustus....
Augustus: [Settling down on Thesis's shoulders to deliver his line before taking off] And the only one who can keep the idiot from getting us all killed...
Thesis: Laertes is brooding over in the corner....
Laertes: [sobbing] Why? Why did I have to use stereotypic samurai terms to refer to myself? Is that all I am to him? A stereotype being placed here to fill in for a character? WHY!?!? [He breaks down, forcing Aristophanes to comfort him.]
Thesis: The Rhydon who just delayed the next chapter of my already nearly-dead fic for you all is Aristophanes...
Gale: I can't believe it! Another delay? Now all the fans will have to wait untold months to hear about my next hilarious exploit!
Augustus: [Breaks into hearty laughter until Gale notices him, then changes it into a coughing fit]
Thesis: And General Michael's out back, being all "mysterious-like" and trying to seduce the girls from other fanfics.
Michael's Voice: [From someplace offstage]Come on, babe... you know you want me... I'm a decorated soldier, and so far all my actions have been morally ambiguous, making me a man of mystery with the potential to draw readers... you like readers, right? Come on, don't be shy....
Thesis: And that's pretty much everyone important so far, I suppose. Excuse me, I have to go replace my laptop now. [Bows and leaves the stage]
[Gale glances around furtively before rushing over to the pedestal seen earlier and grabs the jewel from it, triggering an alarm.]
Gale: Oh no! Here comes the other major character in "Thief in the Night"- the army of nameless security guards!
Guards: [Offstage] Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! [They flood onto the stage, surrounding Gale and co.]
Gale: Hey, look! An orchestra pit!
As the guards turn to look, Augustus, Laertes, and Aristophanes spring into action, pushing them from the stage into the "audience" along with the pedestal that Gale stole the jewel from.
Gale: You know, is it just me or is the only purpose of the security guards in this fic to be outwitted by us?
Augustus: Well, they did capture us in the first chapter...
Gale: Hey, that was a cheap shot! If Laertes hadn't screwed up, we would've gotten away with it scot-free!
Laertes: I screwed up? I'll have you know that-
[The group begins arguing among themselves as Augustus detaches himself from it and hops over to the Midsummer cast end of the stage, where he plunks himself down beside Bill.]
Augustus: So... exactly who was it you traded... er... information with last week?