Thread: [Pokémon] Anima Ex Machina [R]
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Old October 1st, 2008 (1:13 PM).
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JX Valentine JX Valentine is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Harassing Bill
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Originally Posted by Skunter View Post
A brilliant piece, Jax! OH, this had me on edge the whole time I read it. It was like I was reading the prologue to an epic/horror novel! I cannot wait to read more!
Thank you.

Originally Posted by txteclipse View Post
Woohoo! I've always liked stories like this where a myriad of tiny things work to devour bigger things (Indiana Jones is a recent example with the ants),
...I have yet to see the latest Indiana Jones. *flees!* (But I want to!)

I'll try to read this as you update. Drop me a visitor message if you feel like telling me a new chapter is out or whatnot.
Sure. Thanks for reading.

Originally Posted by An-chan View Post
But seriously, despite all that, I think I love this. Gotta wait and see, huh?
Thanks. And yep. I'm already done with chapter one (with chapter two sitting with my beta... who I forgot to credit, dammit).

Originally Posted by Alter Ego View Post
Was this an intentional choice or did it just happen?
It actually was in order to give the sentence a certain rhythm. The points of white, meanwhile, was there because it felt odd to mention just stars and planets and then mention that one of them (which would be the meteor) moved. I understand what you're saying about it being redundant. I'm just wondering if leaving that part out and then talking about the meteor would imply that I thought the meteor was a star or planet.

Maybe just say that it broke into night 'in waves'? Again, this could just be my own schewed understanding of the language, but to me that would sound like a more appropriate expression. :3
No, you're right. That sounds a bit better.

Kind of petty, I know, but I can't help feeling that this would look nicer without that parenthesis. Unless you plan on making it a regular part of the narrator's style, maybe that could be reworded?
Hmm. In this case, you're right. The sentence could make a bit more sense without it. (Same thing with the part you pointed out after. I should remove the word "also" right after the word "but" there anyway.)

As I keep telling you, Jax, you need to be a good sport and leave some errors for us reviewing people to fix. This level of writing is just not cricket. >|
XD Okay. I'll start writing like this. (Oh, FFNet. I'm so glad I came back to you.)

Anywho, as much as I am not a fan of the whole 'aliens descend from space and start killing people' thing, I must say that I enjoyed reading this. You did a good job with both the impending doom feel before the meteor strike and the terror of the attacking parasite things when they killed the Absol. So yes, despite my biases, I'm looking forward to where this story is going to go. ^^
Thank you. =D

Oh, and just out of curiosity: is Midsummer Knights still in progress or is it discontinued?
Oh, I'm definitely bound and determined to finish it. It's just that this baby took up most of my time. XD (I've been planning it since January, and I've already written up to chapter four.)

Originally Posted by An-chan View Post
I don't know about other people, but I, for one, never thought Absol as a dog, so that one took me a while to figure. I always though Absol are more cat-like. But well, everyone has their opinions. I just thought I'd point it out.
*nods* It's fine. Sometimes, it's hard to tell in the Pokemon universe. For a long while, I personally thought it was a goat. (No, seriously.)

According to Bulbapedia, it could be based on either -- either a black cat or a barghest (dog in English folklore whose appearance foretold death).

And, I've been wondering about this for a while now, are Pokémon names, like Absol here, supposed to be written with capital first letters? Is this true or is this just some misconception I ripped off somewhere? -_-'' I also understood that Pokémon names are never written in plural, but I noticed Jax doesn't use them in plural either, so I guess that's confirmed, then. ^-^
There's two schools of thought in Pokemon fanfiction when it comes to names. The first school believes you capitalize everything because they're all copyrighted. The second believes you don't unless they're actual names because otherwise, they're common nouns like "cat." You can really follow either just as long as you stay consistent in the work about it. For example, if you want to go with the first school of thought, that's definitely cool with everyone else, but you can't write any of the Pokemon names in lowercase.

Thanks for the questions, by the way, as well as the reviews. ^_^
Professional ninja. May or may not actually be back. Here for the snark and banter at most.

Need some light reading?
Anima Ex Machina (Chapter 20 now available)
The Leaf Green Incident (SWC 2012 winner)
Braid (Creepypasta apparently)
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