Really, really thanks, An-chan and Xanthine!
This was pretty much what I was waiting for, what I posted the chapter for to begin with.
Xanthine, you don't have to apologize. I asked you to be "as blunt as you could" precisely because I needed the help you have provided.
I'm taking the corrections home and working on them. I want to answer to some of the comments, through:
I guess I should apply the corrections by editing the first post, right? Is there any way (besides me saving it elsewhere) the original text remains stored for comparison? So that other people will be able to see what was corrected. Simply a matter of interest.
Corrections will be made after the weekend, and I'll be lurking the Beta Place by then, to apply for a BR, also.
Thanks to you two for being nice enough to actually give me something, unlike the people where I came from (FF.net); I never got past one measly "want to read more" one-liner review there.
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