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Old November 17th, 2008, 08:32 PM
Post Office Buddy's Avatar
Post Office Buddy
Trapped inside this Octavarium
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Michigan (The land of the ice and snow)
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Nature: Quiet
Lol, You are making my day quite a lot today between nearly naked Asian men and parodies. I thought it was hilarious, and did a great job of portraying the protagonist. I laughed several times, and nearly spewed Mountain Dew all over my computer. There were a few mistakes, however, that I should probably show you.

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because Sora grew up incredibly intepependent yet obedient.
I think that word should be independent, not intepependent.

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decline from signing Sora's trainers license appliance form when she was ten.
I think appliance should be application instead.

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So, Sora had to wait until she was 16 (which is the age of maturity in this world, by the way) before she got her first Pokémon.
I know the typo was already pointed out, but I wanted to quote this so I could LOL at it again. I'm pretty sure I know where you got the idea for this part, having used the same source for my parody.

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In a way, this was also a good thing, because that way she got the most special starter there was: a shiny Eevee.
Talk about the most cliche starter you could possibly imagine. Once again, LOL.

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She was a bit taller than Sora, had blue eyes compared to Sora's black ones, and the tips of her blonde hair all curled upwards.
Missed a comma there.

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I have a new name: Usa-chan!
Oh my, using Japanese names now. Trying to hit every cliche on the head, eh?

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But Usa-chan was not the only one that had been going through the forest in bushes.
Typo there.

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the fox girl must have had a stunning, magical style or something like that,
You lead me to believe that style should be smile.

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The voice of their laughter was so immensily beautiful that an old woman collecting mushrooms nearby bursted into tears and died happy as her heart exploded from all the happiness she felt.
Yes! The first of many deaths (I hope). Lol. Hilarious either way.

Anyway, there isn't much more for me here to say except ME LIEKZ FIC!!!!11!!!!! RITE MOAR PL0X!!!!!1!!!!1!
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I am returning once again (hopefully for good). I will be updating Affliction regularly and reviewing other people's fics every so often. If you would like to request a review, then please send me a PM.

My FFC entry for April 2008: My Endless Loneliness
My Discontinued, Chaptered FanFiction: The Fall of Light
My current chaptered FanFiction: Affliction
My Parody of Pure Awesomeness (requires some context to fully appreciate): Sir. Aaron - A Parody

Last edited by Post Office Buddy; November 17th, 2008 at 08:46 PM.
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