Mystery Pokémon Theater 3000
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November 21st, 2008 (11:07 AM). Edited May 24th, 2009 by JX Valentine.
Your aquatic overlord
Not too long ago, there existed a television program called
Mystery Science Theater 3000
, featuring a lowly janitor shot into space by evil scientists who wanted to force him to watch cheesy movies with a pair of snarky robots. Hilarity ensued. The show has since inspired a fine form of fanfiction criticism, in which the reader participates in the same kind of running commentary as Joel, Mike, and their robot friends. Hence, the MST.
Okay, education aside, welcome to the Satellite of Love, orbiting at several thousand feet above the earth's surface. I'm Xanthine, a mild-mannered member of the board. I'm being asked to read bad fanfiction, and I'm obliging completely of my own free will.
[Xanthine holds up a sign that reads, "I'm being forced to say this."]
I have brought our Pokémon aboard this wonderful place to help us comment and advertise each fanfiction we receive, as per the request of the mysterious Higher Staff.
[Xanthine holds up another sign that reads, "They're watching me."]
We hope to entertain you somewhat and open your mind to how many wonderful literary masterpieces exist in the Pokémon fandom. Perhaps you'd like to send the Higher Staff one of your own so we can have the pleasure to analyze yours in order to spread word and get you the attention you deserve.
[Xanthine holds up another sign that reads, "Please don't, for the love of God."]
So, sit back and relax while we here on the Satellite of Love present to you the best of Pokémon fanfiction.
[Xanthine holds up another sign that reads, "SEND HELP."]
As stated above, an MST is a type of fanfiction game in which a reader makes a running and vaguely witty commentary on the badfic in question. There's several ways this is done, ranging from using dialogue gags involving the original cast of MST3K (the robots Crow and Tom Servo and either Joel or Mike, depending on the season of author's preference) to simple, one-person snark. Then, there's the common form that I'm using, in which there's the author and a bunch of characters from the fandom – in this case, Syntax the ! Unown and Andy the male Combee.
case, yes, it's all about the snark, which we hope will amuse at least some of you.
Of course, before we can do much of anything, we'll need something from
. If you have any bad fanfiction that you want to see ripped apart for amusement's sake, we've got a form below. Submit it to us, and it'll be added to the list. Either Astinus or I will get our hands on it shortly after and run it through the MST machine to produce a somewhat amusing product that we'll post on the main forum with the marker [MST] in the title for you to browse and smirk at. (A running list is also included at the end of this post for convenience's sake.)
There are, of course, a few other rules concerning this exercise that you need to know before we hand you the form.
1. First and foremost,
the fanfiction must be yours
. No sending in someone else's work. Sorry, but that's not cool.
2. Once you submit your work, you're giving me permission to MST it, and therefore, you're giving up your right to complain. As in, you asked me to make fun of your fic, so it would be rather stupid to complain that I did thereafter. Any attempt to state that you didn't request the MST will result in me providing screenshots and links to the posts in which you
3. The fic must adhere to the rules of PC. Sorry, but if we (generally) can't post smut, then I can't MST it here for obvious reasons.
4. If you send me a serial that's more than twenty-five pages long, I will only do up to twenty-five pages (or until the end of that particular installment, whichever comes first). While I'm sure you're amused by the MSTing, going any further may make me want to spork my eyes out.
4a. Incomplete works are totally cool to send in, but they will still fall under the 25-page rule.
6. Do not pressure me by constantly asking if and when I'll finish an MST of your fic. I will throw personal insults into it if you do.
So, after reading all that, you're still interested, yes?
The form is below. You can either submit it to this thread or – if you prefer
to attach your name to what you consider a piece of crap-for-crap – via PM or e-mail.
Name of the Fic:
(Obviously, link to your fanfiction. If your fanfiction isn't online, write "see attached" and attach your story in either an
format. Please no DOCX or WPS documents. Xanthine has Microsoft Word 2003, and any attempts to make it compatible with the newer version of Word have led to her computer BSODing the eff out of her. She could get Open Office, but frankly, she like Word.)
(Short summary of your fanfiction. Make us
to MST the crap out of your story. The more creative, the better. This will be posted, paraphrased, or otherwise equally lampooned in the introduction to the MST.)
Episode 1: The Fall of Light (Or "Mew, Mew Mew Mew")
Episode 2: Journey to Isle of Jade (Or "What? A Swallow Carrying a Bulbasaur?")
Episode 3: A twin adventure (Or "Dude!")
Episode 4: Mission Pokemon (Or "And It's a BORING Baboon")
Professional ninja. May or may not actually be back. Here for the snark and banter at most.
Need some light reading?
Anima Ex Machina
(Chapter 20 now available)
The Leaf Green Incident
(SWC 2012 winner)
Joined May 2004
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