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December 1st, 2008 (9:50 AM).
The Abomination Lives!!!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Wisconsin, USA
First, might I start off by saying that your writing style and the idea don't seem all that bad, but you could thicken this up quite a bit more than what you've currently got, Ayouki. Honestly, it seems like all the chapters are the same length as the prologue, the equivalent a few pages on Word, give or take some paragraphs.
As far as general description goes, it seems somewhat thorough, but could be just a little more artsy. It's kind of basic compared to what some authors tend to do.
Other than those few things, though, the story's fairly good. I'll be checking back to see how this turns out.
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