Thread: The Beta Place
View Single Post
  #37    
Old December 9th, 2008 (07:16 PM).
drunk ¬_¬'s Avatar
drunk ¬_¬
Inebriated Baby
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: mixing the perfect martini for Roxy Lalonde <3
Gender: Male
Nature: Naughty
Title of Story: The Prodigy

Fandom: Pokémon

Plot summary
: A typical Gary-Stu used to winning all his life finally meets defeat at the “Pro-Test”, and is unable to get his Pokémon trainer’s license. His life takes a bad turn and the once perfect Memo (that's his name) meets treason, drugs, prostitutes, fights, thievery, and becomes deeply entangled with some teams who are looking for monopoly of drug and Pokémon trafficking.

Genre
: Dark → OT (non-traditional)

Rating: R for strong references, to drugs, murders and prostitution, as well as (non-graphic) sex and sexuality.

Type of mentor needed: Comprehensive Beta Reader (I don’t consider myself a bad writer, but this is my first fanfic, and although it is a bit complicated, and mature, I don’t want to take my chances).

Writing sample of story: This is the beginning of my prologue, as I don’t want to completely give it away yet -
Spoiler:
“Perfection achieved!” the announcer’s voice rumbled throughout the hall of Jane City’s Municipal Auditorium. The crowd roared in excitement at the sight of the Pokémon battle that had ensued; jumping, clapping, cheering and bellowing, the whole hall started to shake violently, leading many of the younger attendees to start crying. Here and there, fights broke out between the drunken men in attendance, and both cops and guards scrambled to stop these as soon as possible.
The voice of the announcer continued excitedly through the hall’s speakers. “We’ve just witnessed an impressive strategy, relying on perfect calculations, and analysis of a less experienced trainer by Guillermo “The Prodigy” Rebello, who has overpowered and completely destroyed his opponent with an expertly-aimed attack combination to defeat his opponent, and become champion of the Interscholar Pokémon Battling Tournament Open-Level!”
Both the crown and announcer refused to calm down, which made the hall shake ever so violently. Even more children began to cry, and an increasing number of them to get lost, prompting even more ruckus and disorder in the hall.



Other: My first language is Spanish and I rely heavily on Microsoft Word’s spell-check, which I’ve heard isn’t such a good idea. Any kind of advice, or constructive criticism is gladly accepted.
Please PM me if interested.
Spoiler:

I feel like I’m writing a ‘FriendFinder’ Account :\
Reply With Quote