View Single Post
  #3    
Old December 12th, 2008, 02:27 PM
Zephyr+'s Avatar
Zephyr+
Oripoke
Community Supporter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: USA
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Nature: Sassy
There's no such thing as too complex as long as you explain it well. This, however... well, there's nothing else to do but steal that wildly popular commenting system that's been catching on as of late...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tobytheghost View Post
A pokemon game with a twist.

Timetravel... Um. To be honest, that's not that much of a twist, it's just an irregular story element. Unless the entire game revolves around being able to initiate this travel (see: Chrono Trigger) then you're still just a regular game with a wacky storyline. But I'm intrigued: I have an infatuation with anything regarding time travel or paradoxes...

Story idea - You are 6 years old and see a bright light through yor bedroom window, curious as you are, you get up and look outside. You see a strange shadowy pokemon in the darkness. Okay, I'm sorry, what? You saw a bright light and then the Pokemon was shadowy? Contradiction much? Your fasination of this strange pokemon is so great you run to find out what it is as you open the door there is a flash of light Again? and then everything is still. 5 more years pass while it is still? xD Never mind, that's just choppy writing... and it is the morning of your eleventh birthday. Why is it always the birthday? Y'know, they don't do it in any of the official games that I know of, but every fangame does... You go to get your first pokemon from the local professor and begin your journey. Wow, uneventful. But at least there's no kidnapping...

After battleing the first gym leader he tells you a secret Why? He's the freaking first gym leader for Arceus' sake; what's he doing revealing ancient secrets to an eleven-year-old? of a legendary pokemon that can travel in time and that it is said to appear and disapear in a flash of light. Say it with me: Cel-e-bi. You begin to get interested in this pokemon and ask the gym leader more questions, you then tell him about your experence of when you were young. Suddenly you are atacked by two strange men wow. Yes, suddenly. Uh. and are overwhelmed by them just as all hope seems lost you see a flash of light and then darkness. Flash of darkness? when you awaken you are in a strange bed. You later descover your world has been ransacked and that a large organisation controls the enitre world using a legendary pokemon Cool., you are taken to see a wise man who has prophisised Oh crap, prophecy your arival. he says to you to bring the world to peace you must return to your time and stop the destruction of the world. Unfortunatly the only way to return to your time is to capture the legendary pokemon. But the bad guys own him! So your real journey begins...
...Hm, now I feel odd for having stolen Agent Zero's commenting style. Eh. *shrug*

Well, to tell you the truth, unless you have a good friend who is a game developer already, then your vague plot and uncommited comments aren't going to even get your game started. Perhaps try learning how to develop it yourself? And work on the plot a little, it's interesting but it seems a bit sloppy (and, I might want to add, a bit too much like that of Pokemon Mercury's. Watch out.)

Needs work, but don't give up! I congratulate you for trying something new, even if it... isn't.