Whew... Scary s***, Xanthine! Even if it is like a parody of a B-list sci-fi movie. Sorry I hadn't replied to this since December, but things have been so screwy at work with the economy the way it is I haven't been able to get online and do much critiquing (at least not more than basic commenting).
Saw that you did re-edit some parts of the earlier chapters, and it looks good.