Pokérus Mk. III [One shot] [PG17]
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April 17th, 2009, 04:28 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Thank you very much for your comments! :D It is indeed greatly appreciated.
I've fixed the grammar oddities you pointed, and like you, will wait for the others to point the other mistakes out, as I don't want to go butchering the story too much (like that I might edit something that's fine, haha).
Hmmm yeah, I think I've said that the infected pokemon prefer a close combat (really so they can eat); I believe I mentioned that they'd attack regular pokemon, that can't be infected. So I hope that doesn't sound like it comes too much in conflict, but in the end, I was intending them to become more primal.
I was thinking at first I might do an airborne infection, and that anyone who received a cut would be infected (as breathing it in, then zombifying would be too simple in world domination). But in the way I wrote it more bloodshed could be made. XD I did pull some things from Resident Evil (though obviously they've pulled stuff from previous films etc).
Yeah my Ash scenes were thought out from one of the first ones. Though at the time, I did not know if I wanted to kill him or zombify him, but instead for a cliffhanger ending I kept him alive.
Yeah I suppose (now that I read it again), it doesn't sound as large scale as it could have been, or at least the portion longer than it could have been. Perhaps I should expand on it, with your sugestion of grass type (as the majority of ground moves are close combat). Hmmm which brings up the question, if lets say a Bulbasaur used vine whip, and an infected pokemon managed to bite the whip, would Bulbasaur now be infected? I'd think so, but not sure.
Hmmm perhaps I should give the reader less inclination of what is occuring with Giratina to compensate? This would be done on purpose so when its revealed that Giratina is helping those, that people would be like "Oh interesting." >.> or something, lol.
Unfortunately for the poison type, I imagine their demise to be the same as the rest of the pokemon.
My unfamiliarity of Ho-oh (at least game-wise) was the reason why I did not include it. But if it can revive (not cure) pokemon, that could be interesting.
For Jirachi, it would have to be another 1000 years or something? I can't remember, definately a shock for it when it wakes up next time, assuming the zombies can even live that long. It does sound like though, that it is during generation III. Though perhaps if I included Dawn and Paul (and Gary!) I could bring it closer to the more recent events.
And once again a very big thanks :D
EDIT: Actually I just realized, the events would have had taken place after the 11th movie, as I had mentioned Giratina recognizing Ash. Also I *might* continue this if I can add Arceus in it, and my best judgement of it (no pun intended), would be from the 12th movie (once it comes out of course).
Ever wondered what would happen if zombies took over the Pokemon world?
My chaptered fic:
The Timeless Shadow
Pokemon and Philosophy
Last edited by Feign; April 17th, 2009 at
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