Thread: [Pokémon] Mentor (PG-14)
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Old May 9th, 2009 (9:42 PM).
delongbi's Avatar
delongbi delongbi is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Possibly in a tree
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 161

I'm way too tired to find grammar errors and such, though the following was pretty obvious:

“What’s the rush,” Leah spoke up. “Probably won’t be for a few more hours.”

Should be a ? after rush.

Anywho, I just got caught up. Nice chapters. The battle with the gym leader seemed very practical. Actually, your take on Pokemon is a very practical one in general. All of this seems like it could actually happen if there were really Pokemon in the world so good job.

Haha, Leah got thrown off a boat. =)

Ooh, and I liked Leah's background story. Can't wait to find out more about her!

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