A fic idea
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June 1st, 2009 (4:28 AM).
~Have you ever seen the rain?~
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Originally Posted by
Alright, now then.
The reason for leaving (I think Tigrerra already listed) is that humans advance on the houndoom's/luxray's territory, in which they are already at a territory war type thing, therefore having the rivalry between the species.
Hmm... if you mean that the humans are the cause of the rivalry... well, why so? Yes, they've advanced on the territory, but how exactly - set up a camp there, or a city? And how does this actually affect the Pokemon? Go into depth here for the story, see how everyone/thing reacts and all to it and be sure to show it. But this 'already at a territory war thing'... again, explain more - is it just how these Pokemon live and react to each other, being territorial and all, or is there something deeper? And how do the humans worsen this?
Now then for the parents leaving, I don't know how violent she wants to get, but my idea (I'm helping to somewhat write this) is probably the parents get killed during the human occupation of the land.
Hmm...well, it does explain what happens to them... do wonder how they die though...
And for the other Luxray taking them both in, maybe the young houndour and shinx get on friendly terms and the shinx convinces the Luxray to take him too.
Not yet convinced on this point - there would still need to be more establishment on how this 'convincing' occurs so that the Luxray 'queen' will bring in this Houndour... after all, if they have a rivalry, so convincing the reader about this action to accept a Pokemon from the rival group or whatnot won't be so easy, especially when one considers how the rest of the clan would react to this as well, I'd suspect (which I suppose could always be worked cleverly into the story with some thought). Also how exactly they become friendly as well would have to be considered in the writing - a random 'hi let's be friends' won't exactly cut it.
Eh. IDK, but there is a vague feeling of there being some more thinking put into this to flesh it out and make it make sense and so forth, for me leastways. There's no rush with it though...
And it turns out it's another co-written project? Well, your choice, I suppose - good luck with it.
This is also reminding me more and more of 'The Fox and the Hound', rather than the 'Land before Time' (which I saw before as well, incidentally).
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