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Old July 20th, 2009 (07:04 AM).
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Feathing Feathing is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: A small town ^^
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Well, I already read this and I told you already it was good, so I'll straight to the new parts.

I didn't get the Zapdos thing, but I guess you'll unveil all of that at its own time, right?
Besides, I think the paragraph about Charles Harris can be seen as a bit too much, 'cause you already told about Zapdos, about the laboratory and the scientist and about Oak and his aide, so that part could be better seen on the next chapter. Anyway, its your story, Im just giving my opinion.

Leaving all that behind, I liked. Its very descriptive (I will learn tones of new words xD ) and it was good to see that you changed the Pokemon. Budew, Growlithe, Barboach and Shinx are all really cool. I like them all and its evolutions as well.

So, well done and let me know when the next one is out!
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