The Lake Shinedown
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July 23rd, 2009, 07:46 AM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Albany, Ny
Originally Posted by
First off, wrong forum. Second, it's a bit short. Third, you didn't use proper spacing, this makes the story really confusing and hard to follow. If you wanted to stick with canon, it is Professor Rowan, not Professor Smith.
No descriptions whatsoever. And it looks like you are attempting to make an OT fic of d/p/pt, in Damien's perspective. Right now though, you need lot's of work on descriptions and grammar.
LIke I said, I want some details on what I was doing wrong.
And this is the wrong forum?
It's writers lounge, and pokemon fiction.
But if it is the wrong forum, I'll ask a Moderator to move it to the correct forum.
And, well, for the characters, I didn't feel like using Professer Rowan.
So I used Prof. Smith.
I'm still learning to write stories and the version is just a random pokemon world.
When I update the thread, I'll be sure to add more descriptive words, grammar, and some better spelling. If I spelled anything wrong besides Gyrados and Pokemon.
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