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Old August 22nd, 2009 (03:44 PM).
Some Random Weird Guy's Avatar
Some Random Weird Guy Some Random Weird Guy is offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
I gotta say, great prologue!

There were no spelling mistakes (that I saw), but the sentences were overly long. You had whole paragraphs that were one sentence. You need more periods, or us readers can't take a mental breath while reading it.

Other than that, it was nice and mysterious. It makes us readers want to know, "What is this Project Victory?" And that is exactly what you need to do with stories, keep people reading. I probably won't continue though, as my personal preferences are good old fashioned journey fics.

P.S.: When the first chapter of my story is released you're reviewing it! ;D
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