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Old September 21st, 2009, 11:15 PM
Bay Alexison's Avatar
Bay Alexison
Not a Baygel
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
Age: 25
Nature: Sassy
Quote:
“Whatever,” Eagun said, as Rui returned the Pokemon to their Pokeballs and handed them to the assistant behind a counter. “We drove that nasty lot out of town, at any rate. Some are now busy retrieving their Pikachu – a good dozen or so ended up in a tree, it appears – and some are tending to Duncan’s poor, poor lawn. Those flowers... they’ll never be the same,” Eagun sniffed.
Oh Pikachu and Duncan.

Quote:
“In a few hours, an attack on someone at Mt Battle is going to occur?” another voice asked suddenly through Sherles’ end of the conversation.

“Who the hell are you?” Sherles barked. “Get out of here! Johnson, do you have a reason for letting this interviewer in when I specifically told you to not let anybody in?”

“But this guy said he was somebody, so I thought it’d be ok...” Johnson began. Rui and Wes exchanged glances.

“You idiot! Now everyone will know and we’ll have interviewers jumping at the scene. I just know it,” Sherles said tiredly.
Dang Johnson! D:

Quote:
“I hate it when I’m right,” Wes finally said. “Cipher’s just going to keep attacking us, and we’re going to have to keep defending, and they’ll tire us out and we’ll all be very very...I don’t know, sad,” he concluded.
Sad indeed. ;_;

Quote:
“DISHWASHERS! BUY ONE AND GET ONE AT A SLIGHTLY REDUCED PRICE!” it blazed, as the radio also came back on.
Urgh, false advertisements! >.>

Quote:
“We’re a fundraising group for charity! We sell cookies!” she added, waving boxes in the air clearly marked ‘Cookies – Buy One To Raise Funds For The Defenceless Magikarp’ in large letters.
*donates*

Quote:
“DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”
I’m more mad than Mad Hatter!

Anyways, another funny chapter here. I really do have to question the intelligence of the Orre people (and everyone else in the Pokemon fandom)

Andrew I thought you did his thoughts well. Shows a bit of his personality. Sorry, haven’t played the games, so I wouldn’t know if he was a character or not. ; However, there are a couple of times I felt his thoughts are long winded. I know that’s his personality and all, but it’s a bit too much going deep into his thoughts. Perhaps you could have done some of them in the narrative instead of in his POV. That’s just me, though.

Dakim…been a while since the readers last met him, huh? The first bit where he’s with the Cipher grunts I chuckled a couple of times. Heh, the grunts are better than him. However, his stupidity and “DAKIM KICK!” got repetitive at the end.

Pretty much another great chapter here. Iffy about Andrew’s thoughts in his POV too much (though not such a big deal ; ) and also Dakim’s scenes a bit repetitive. Try to not have the next update be this long.
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