A Haunting at the Old Chateau [7 Day, R]
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November 13th, 2009 (11:35 AM).
Not a Baygel
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
I read the first part when you posted it in the summer, but wasn’t able to post review. D:
Anyways, as far as horror stories go, I see some depth in it, mostly on the character development side. Like Misheard Whisper said, you did well with the Pokemon, their interactions with one another, and how they react to the certain curses and death. My favorite has to be Monferno not saving Riolu and was satisfied of his death at first, but then regrets not at least trying to save him. Christina at first I was worried as you didn’t develop her much in part one, but part two I’m glad you put her thoughts on what was going on at the chateau more and also her regrets. Seriously, most of the time in horror stories the characters are all like, “Why I came here in the first place?” In this story however, you went beyond that, which I already explained, so I won’t repeat myself. :3 I want to say though I’m kind of iffy on Starvia’s personality and wished you put more depth on him (though maybe I have to read part one again to refresh my memory XD).
Idea on Rotom being this sinister ghost in the chateau is nothing but excellent. I wish I thought of that! D: And the deaths…all I’m gonna say is you’re a cruel, cruel man. D: In all seriousness though, interesting you have the Pokemon and Christina die by each of the forms. I actually didn’t think any of the forms except Heat, Mow, and Normal are capable of destruction. D:
Writing style I thought is good too. Despite not much dialogue, you’re able to still show the emotions and interactions of the characters well.
All in all, excellent horror story there. Nice depth on the characters, like the writing style, and also excellent description of the deaths of the characters. Great work there.
PS- Isn’t it weird while reading Buneary’s death I suddenly thought the online cartoon Happy Tree Friends? O.o
Also, oh my gosh, this is funny. I have a Monferno in a one shot of mine who lives in Eterna Forest (assuming the Monferno in this story stayed at Eterna City/ Eterna Forest the rest of her life) and also goes to the chateau once in a while (but the place isn’t haunted D: ). XD
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