Thread: The Beta Place
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Old December 12th, 2009 (03:34 AM).
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SkyBlue SkyBlue is offline
I'm in love...with Ash!
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Philippines
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 125
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Okay. Guess I'd rather be a client.

Title of Story: Operation Confession
Fandom: Pokemon manga: Pokemon Special/Adventures
Plot summary: Red and Yellow have always been a little...into each other. They just don't like to say what they really feel. Well, with the help of the other Pokedex holders, Green's going to change that...Maybe it's time they did take a vacation in Sinnoh.
Genre: Humor and romance.
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG. Expect gratuitous amounts of Green's trademark evil schemes. And funny ghosts.
Type of mentor needed: Plot and character beta reader. I plan to have an OC.
Writing sample of story:
Spoiler:

Green could not believe that it had been a few years since Red saved Yellow from a rampaging Dratini. She also could not believe that time had passed since Yellow rescued Red from the Elite Four.

And she could not believe that they still hid their feelings after all this time!

Green now paced the floor of her house as Platinum, her boyfriend Diamond, and their hyper friend Pearl (visiting from Sinnoh) read books (in Dia's case, munched on a book-shaped cookie).

Ruby and Sapphire, a new item, were arguing over who had the best Pokemon.

Gold, Crystal and Silver were reflecting on the past (and laughing at Crystal's "AAAHHH! PUNKS!").

Blue was trying and failing at making Poffins. Everyone could hear the "Stupid Poffins!" and "AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!" coming from the kitchen.

Emerald was thinking up pranks.

Green, however, didn't notice. She was too absorbed in what she was thinking up. Then...

"I can't stand their being insecure anymore!" she cried out. "I think I'll bring them together..."

All the color drained from Gold's, Crystal's and Silver's faces. They knew exactly what Green was talking about.

So did Blue. "Green..." he warningly yelled out. "NOT AGAIN!"

Platinum raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so worried?" she asked.

Green had on that weird, Cheshire cat face on again. Somehow it never failed to slip onto her face when she was scheming.

"It's the Cheshire Grin. When Green has it on...you'd rather not know," Crystal hastily explained.

"Think about it. Have you seen Yellow so nervous when not around Red?" Green suddenly asked.

Platinum shook her head. Dia raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Pearl rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Gold shuddered at the thought of Green being right yet again. Crystal swore words under her breath. Emerald kicked the couch so strongly that it flipped. Silver learned a few words from Crystal. Ruby and Sapphire's mouths hit the floor.

And Green? "AUUUGGGHH! IT BURNED! NOW I HAVE TO START OVER!!" He was concentrating on those Poffins.

"And how about Red? Have you seen him NOT blush when around Yellow?"

Same reactions. Different people (except for Blue, who was still cooking Poffins and was now complaining about how they spilled easily).

"Ha! I knew it. They like each other! You've seen it, you've felt it, you've known it since you first met them! So you're all gonna help me!" Green proclaimed, grinning maniacally.

It was at this point that everyone, except for Dia (who ate faster) and Platinum (whose eyes went wide), screamed. Yep, even Blue in the kitchen with the Poffins.

Other: I've been writing since I was eight. I made scripts ripped off of episodes of my favorite series, calling them sequels. I was eight, hello! Then, I stumbled upon FanFiction.net, and the rest is history.

My strength is being able to describe things when I feel like it. Often, though, I have to see it in my mind's eye first.

My weakness is...well...sometimes I accidentally bring characters out of their personalities. OOC, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I overdo one trait of a character. I'm not very good when it comes to making OC's...

"Our hearts are made of fragile glass. One crack and we have no more heart. We must take care of it."