Thread: [Pokémon] Spring's Revenge
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Old February 11th, 2010 (10:36 AM).
Crazy Packers Fan
Gym Leader
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
So now they know for sure it's Cynthia behind everything. A lot of explanations in this chapter, always nice to see.

When it comes to beta-reading, the only mistake I saw was this one:
Quote:
“So now, little “Sabrina forcefully ignored the word”, tell me who you’re working for!”
I was confused on who was talking there.

Quote:
“In that case, wouldn’t it have been much better for Cynthia if we hadn’t found anything? Not only would Lance have beheaded us, but we would also not be able to give her anything...besides our bowings, that is.” Sabrina mused sarcastically.
Sabrina bowing to Cynthia? I wonder where you got that from. Please make it happen!

Quote:
She started to despise herself, but even more, she hated Cynthia for making her feel so...degraded and weak.
Awesome. That's Cynthia's job, to make Sabrina feel worthless. Isn't it sweet how Sabrina turned from the most powerful trainer in my story to being utterly worthless and weak after Cynthia had her way with her?

Please post the next chapter as soon as possible, thanks!