The Beta Place V2
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February 27th, 2010, 07:51 PM
Hail HYDRA! Long live the SITH! Team LANNISTER!
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Pride Rock
I am requesting beta for my fan fic, I finished my Prologue and haven't posted it yet, and now starting on Chapter 1
Title of Story:
Crossing the Line
A ragtag team of Military Pokemon fighting to end a war against the Galactic-Rocket Alliance, that brought damage, fear, and large amount of pain through out the galaxy. Will they live and end the war, or will they fail and die.
Action, Comedy, War, Science Fiction (Somethings wont be possible in real life),Romance, Horror, Adventure
Rating (PG, R, etc):
PG-17 (swearing, alcohol reference, mature jokes
Type of mentor needed:
Grammer, Proof reading, Comprehensive, Language
Writing sample of story:
Poliwrath quickly takes a sword and swing at Swamperts head. Swampert quickly ducks and kicks him in the face and falls back on his legs and looks up at Swampert.
"You see...I own your ass" said Swampert, slowly reaching for his sword.
"I don't think so" he replied, doing a chinese get up and kicks Swampert in the stomach, launching him through a wall.
Poliwrath walks over his sword and picks it up then quickly runs to the smashed wall and looks around the room and sees debris and a open door.
He slowly turns around and walks towards the others
"Yo! Poliwrath did you get him?" asked Sceptile
"Yea, he escaped, but at least i kicked him through a wall" he replied.
"But he escaped, you totally suck, even I can do better" said Ditto.
"I can demote your ass just with a sword, and just with a sword"
"Okay...now I'm panicking"
I have been writing for a year and a half now, and English is my main language but it seems like still have spelling and wording problems
Last edited by Iqid Loopz; February 27th, 2010 at
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