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Old June 28th, 2010 (06:20 AM).
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Giratina ♀ Giratina ♀ is offline
what's your sign?
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 1,439
First off, the coding is pretty. * w*

As for the story itself, I should say that you're not allowed to change the titles of your threads here at PokéCommunity. So if you're going to make a Chapter Two, I'd just go ask Astinus (the moderator here) if the thread title could just be changed to "Pokémon Uesuto" so that the title doesn't get outdated.

Quote:
Too much smoking, the boy imagined.
A little mini-essay on word usage here. 'Imagine' is usually used to conjure up images in one's mind; 'thought' is for the words. Granted, there aren't too many synonyms for 'thought', but unless your character is mute or something there's really no problem in using it.

Quote:
"Boss . . . “He looked up at the boy.
Format burp.

That said, I really do like the Western setting (doesn't help that I started reading this fic with Jesse James playing, but still) as well as this kid protagonist. He's pretty awesome, actually. That said, I believe that the title 'Pokémon _______' makes the story sound like some generic Trainerfic that we're all sick and tired of, so I'd reconsider that as a title. (It worked on me, at least.) Since we're only partway into chapter one, I can't say much else except that I really like what you've got playing here. Keep going. C:
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