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Old July 4th, 2010 (6:39 AM).
Giratina ♀'s Avatar
Giratina ♀ Giratina ♀ is offline
what's your sign?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Posts: 1,439
Notebook paper? For shame! [whacks]

Aaaaanyway, nice job overall. Whereas the ending felt a little too awkward to be cliffhanger-ish, the story was interesting. I would have liked to get the Carmine Kid's actual name, though. five bucks says it's silver