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Old August 7th, 2010, 06:06 PM
indinrio
Beginning Trainer
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Gender: Male
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny Politoed View Post
alright here i go XD

I've come up with a fan fic idea that My Friends find very interesting this is it

We meet Callum Birch the nephew of professor birch from hoenn,we learn his father was a professor and was killed in a experiment gone wrong so to escape the painful memories the family moves to jhoto.He is at his house in new bark town after defeating all the gyms in Jhoto we are introduced to his twin sisters who are starting there journey and his mom who is traveling to hoenn to meet with old friends and family we then meet all of the family's Pokemon. i don't want to give much away but his sister and his mamoswine are attacked by a vicious larvatar it is defeated and they return to his house professes elm and his family come to greet the family and Elm gives detail to why the larvatar may have attacked but can not come up with a plausible reason.some diolouge happens and his sisters get a pokedex each, and Callum has his upgraded everyone goes there separate ways after Callum Defeats Lyra Elm in a battle he is on his way to the pokemon league

on the way he stops at a small island something happens thats a big part to the story and he meets Agatha and Toby his new friend.after the exciting events they stay at her house over night and leave for the league in the morning. at the mouth of victory road police inform everyone (about 60 people)there were Pokemon in the caves attacking trainers and that only a few days ago a person was killed ,mass hysteria takes place and many aspiring trainers don't take the risk and only about 30 trainers are left then we meet Callum's old friend Gwen a Girl he recently caught up with in blackthorn the 3 of them travel in the cave together (hooray for the cliche traveling trio)stuff happens in the cave i don't want to give away and there out more spoliers and there all in the tournament with the elite four. Callum is up againtest will and as he is about to defeat wills last pkemon there interupted by what everyone thinks is a small earthquake a few moments later a tyranitar breaks through the wall of stadium and starts killing people.

I dont want to give much away for the rest of this but I'll say this they travel and find Callum's sisters stuff gose down in the ice path and they go back to new bark where
professor birch,oak and elm all have some news a virus has infected Pokemon in all four regions .
this virus is the experiment that went wrong and killed callum's father we learn they were trying to make the "Pokerus" virus stronger but it went wrong and was not contained although minor at first,.the virus has spreed and evolved into something worse of the course of 4 years(we learn more about the virus),professor oaks adds an application to all pokedex everywhere by satellite that tracks the 4 stages(you learn all this) of the virus and the strongest readings seems to come from cerulean cave.some epic stuff happens we learn about whats happened and tie up all loose end through out the story.So they have cut of the head of the virus and try to cure those Pokemon already infected.but can they cure them all?

It should be way better once its all written out
It rated "R" for blood and gore a lot of it -.-
its horror/adventure/mystery
To be very frank with you, this story sounds pretty much like any typical Journeyfic with some blood and gore thrown in for no real reason other than to make it seem edgier and more mature. You stated yourself in the description that you'll be sticking largely to formula ("hooray for chilche travelling stuff"), but try to avoid that as much as possible; it really turns readers off your story when they know how everything's gonna turn out.

However, that's all I can glean from this brief description. I'm sure, as you are, that the story would look much better written out fully. Your idea of a virus driving Pokemon isn't necessarily unique, but written well it could make for an interesting plot. I would suggest you streamline the overall plot a bit by removing focus from the generic Journeyfic elements and focusing instead on the horror elements of the story, as they would probably strike people as more unique, if nothing else.

And also, one last note: make sure you use proper spelling and grammar in your story. Just spending a few seconds on Spellcheck will make your story look that much more professional.
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