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Old February 8th, 2011 (12:03 AM). Edited February 8th, 2011 by Cutlerine.
Cutlerine Cutlerine is offline
Gone. May or may not return.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: The Misspelled Cyrpt
Age: 22
Nature: Impish
Posts: 1,030
Thank you for your review, bobandbill. A quick note on commas: I've read far too much old stuff, and so tend towards putting in as many commas as possible in a style that isn't really used today. Not all of them are necessary, but... yeah, don't know where I'm going with this sentence. I'll just take out the one you mentioned, because you're right.

I'll also de-italicise the accidentally italicised text, but I think I might leave 'all their world'. I like it better.

Once again, thank you.

Oh, I just noticed there was another review from Mizan de la Plume Kuro above this one. I'll go read that.


OK, let's start with Sapphire as the manga character. I've never read the part of the manga in which she appears, so it's entirely unintentional if she seems like it. I just looked up her team on Bulbapedia - and that's the extent of the research I did into her.

As for the whole gluing thing... Yeah, that is a bit weird now that I think about it. I'll change that, but right now it doesn't quite work to have Sapphire not argue for paralysis of her old friend. I shall edit that so that it becomes slightly less... vicious, as you say.

The building burning bit? That can't really change now. I'll just see if I can find a way to work around it in the future, and salvage her character. I'm almost entirely certain that I can, if I edit parts of the last couple of chapters and the ones I'm currently working on. EDIT: I've edited the chapter in which Sapphire decides to set fire to the Calavera Tower and also the one immediately following now. Hopefully, this should redeem Sapphire - at least partially.

Oh yes, and I very much enjoyed your analysis of Sapphire, by the way. I've never had anyone go into a character of mine with such philosophical precision.

For information about A Grand Day Out, a bizarre short story in video game form, click here.