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Old February 8th, 2011, 07:58 AM
nokyo-chan's Avatar
nokyo-chan
Oatmeal? Are you CRAZY?!
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the middle of nowhere.
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Nature: Quirky
Quote:
On another side note, would this be the Metagross description that Puck provides Kester with, or the one Sapphire uses when she glimpses it in the cave? I'm assuming the former, but I always liked the latter better. In fact, I just liked the bathos of having Steven and Deep Thought appear immediately before revealing the stupid and pointless fact that Exploud are mostly allergic to Nosepass.
The latter, of course--I also meant to compliment you on your spectacular characterization of Steven.

Also, I found another minor grammatical mistake; but I've noticed that you live in the UK, and so I'm not entirely sure if it's a discrepancy between countries, but I'll point it out anyway.

Quote:
I groped desperately for something to change the subject with, and found a question I’d been meaning to ask him.
You don't actually need a comma there. A comma only precedes a conjunction when there is a subject after it; for instance, this would be correct:

Quote:
I groped desperately for something to change the subject with, and I found a question I'd been meaning to ask him.
Like I said, I'm not sure if this is only correct in the States or not, seeing as the UK also spells things differently from us ("Centre" as opposed to "Center", stuff like that).

I also saw that you said that Puck was a shameless self-insert; I would have never guessed. He fits flawlessly into the story. Kudos for that!

Quote:
I hasten to assure you, I do know the correct past tense, but have made some almighty error of judgement, much like Macbeth. Only his errors were larger and more numerous than mine, and ended up with him dead. So... not like Macbeth at all.
I hope you aren't like Macbeth...I hear it's quite troublesome, not being able to have your name mentioned anywhere near a stage.
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