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Old March 12th, 2011 (5:40 PM).
Mizan de la Plume Kuro's Avatar
Mizan de la Plume Kuro Mizan de la Plume Kuro is offline
Bass, Bass Everywhere!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Airstrip One, Oceania
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
Posts: 1,652
It's nice to read a story in batches instead of having to wait a few days in between chapters, don't you agree?

So yeah, this isn't actually a review, I'm not in the mood for that right now, but it's more of a post with comments to show that I'm still reading and enjoying the fic. Now, comments:

“Wahahaha!” laughed Wattson, and sat heavily down on his beanbag. “You ended up giving me a thrill!”

“Who’s he talking to?” asked Sapphire, for he was looking intently at his left hand.
Oh God, that… that actually came out quite dirty in the context its usually used in. I’m content to imagine that he drew a face on his hand with a sharpie, but the ‘thrill’ part… I’m not sure if this is supposed to be innuendo because I haven’t seen any in this fic before this.

“Fabien,” said Blake.


“I’ve acciden’ally stolen a fork.”
I can’t help but wonder if this was a real life event for you. I mean, I’ve never been out of a restaurant in a hurry before, so I can’t say that I’ve taken any cutlery with me before. Still, this line had me in stitches.

There he was, topping the news, his sharp eyes shining like factories far away; he was grinning wildly into the lens of a CCTV camera, while his cohorts tore up books behind him. Talking over the frozen image was the voice of Gabby van Horne, Hoenn’s favourite newsgirl and one half of a partnership with the country’s most famous and reckless cameraman, Tyrone de’Medici.

Seriously? He belongs to the House of Medici?
Yeah… I was going to point out the absurdity of having a Medici in Japan, but then thought better of it. Instead, I somehow managed to get from this Italian reference to Macri the BBC camerawoman from Angels and Demons. You making such a far-fetched reference like that is unlikely, but still.

And that's about it. I'm loving your plot twists, and I'm actually starting to see this as a sort of different version of the R/S/E story.
.F i c t i o N.
"Break his heart, Estella. Break
his heart..." - Cutlerine

.F a n f i c t i o N.
The Promise I Made to You

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