Champion Game [M]
View Single Post
May 23rd, 2011 (3:49 PM).
Wait for it
Ack, sorry for not reviewing lately! Been busy taking care of other stuff. I was writing this review while reading the chapters, so I'm able to put down my thoughts on the next parts of the story here.
Why am I amused of Steven liking chocolate brownies? XD
Hm, interesting over what Steven said that he'll have to get a new set of badges if he wants to go for Champion again in a new region. I admit, I never thought that former Champions might do that. I always vaguely assumed they already have a pass to battle against another region's Elite 4 and their champion due. This idea sounds more realistic because how a former trainer might be unfamiliar with the region's Pokemon and the gym leaders' battle styles.
Overall, I too thought Ren did nicely his first time being on TV. Too bad he'll have to get use to it, haha.
I love how the tone is mostly serious when Ren was dreaming about that Afro Glameow, LOL. Seriously, I'm still amused by the image of Glameow having an Afro. And wee, finally getting to more stuff on Dreamlight!
How do you even hold this thing? he wondered frantically as he weighed it in his hand. He had never swung a sword in his life, or even a tennis racquet, and he had no idea what he was doing.
I too had never swung a sword, but swinging a tennis racquet wasn't easy for me at first, LOL.
“He called them nightmares too. He got all sulky whenever I tried to correct him, though.”
I can imagine him being like that too, hehe.
Elly and Ren's interactions are great in this, and so is the battle. I admit I haven't really watched Bleach saved for a few fighting clips, but reading the action in this chapter is fun. Nice pacing and also you showed Ren's inexperience with sword fighting well. The three worlds things is also very interesting. I'm a sucker for dreams able to actually affect the outcome of reality kind of stories. :3
Ren's eyes widened. “D-don't tell me . . .”
“Ah, he gets it!” crowed Elly with a grin. “Oh, the look on your face!”
“You want me to come here every night and fight those . . . things!” he exclaimed, getting to his feet and glaring back at her.
“That's it,” Elly said, shrugging. “Got a problem with that?”
And the revelation of the plot thickens! Going to feel sorry for Ren if that's the case, though, haha.
“Then every night, I slip into your dreams and drag you, kicking and screaming, into the second ring. I tie you up and sling you in a corner, then I beat the crap out of the Iehkti'na myself and put you back when I'm done!” she growled, putting her face right up next to Ren's and looking directly into his eyes with an intensity that made him shiver. “Does that sound good to you?”
Again, love the interaction between Elly and Ren, quite amusing and fun. Also the description of the place is very nice.
Overall, this is getting even more interesting. Only thing I'm slightly skeptical (and I know you mentioned this before) is if any Pokemon elements will still come to play. I don't mind if the Pokemon themselves will not enter, but it seems the plot is getting to be a Pokemon fic at first but then can be easily taken as a fantasy/supernatural story of sorts. I'm probably assuming things a little too early, so I'll hold off my judgement of the plot for now. Still looking forward to what the Elders have to say about Ren, though. Keep up the good work!
The Writer's Lounge
Writing Sprint #1 (June 20-26th)
Joined May 2006
View Public Profile
Send a private message to Bay Alexison
Find all posts by Bay Alexison
Find threads started by Bay Alexison
Ignore Posts by Bay Alexison