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Old June 3rd, 2011, 05:28 PM
Kiyoshi the Polar Bear's Avatar
Kiyoshi the Polar Bear
Figuratively Speaking
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: That One Place
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
I'd love to join this.

Personally, I'm homosexual. But not gay.

Probably a lot of you are quizzical about that last statement, so let me explain.

Back in the sort of beginning of the year, I was going through a large emotional struggle that was triggered (but wasn't the actual problem) by a crush with this quite amazing guy. Not only did depressed feelings rage in my soul, but so did jealousy and unjustified angst.
When this period of time was over, I started to truly dig into my opinions on the word "gay."

And I came to the conclusion, I'm not gay. I'm a homosexual. My sexuality has no effect on my true personality, and if anything, this was something I given as a gift to get me out of introverted phase of my freshmen year and make me more introspective. But now it's just the sex of my future husband. (Not partner, that's the most ridiculous title for a significant other just because you're the same sex in my opinion. But hey, if you like it, please, be my guess and use it.)

But how am I not gay but homosexual?
Homosexual is the actual sexuality.
Gay is a label.

Some people take pride and security with titles, but I'm not one of those people. I dislike very much to be categorized into some label rather than judged as a person for who I am.

Usually people realize very early that they're homosexual, and with that, they label themselves gay. But the ones who are insecure with the fact that their personalities are incomplete as teenagers can easily slip into the stereotype because it's an already made identity, and this gives them security, but they never acknowledge the personality that's the unique individual underneath afterwards. It restricts personality development and can lead to an identity crisis. Those who are naturally are more feminine (guy)/masculine (girl) are especially prone to this, because they think "oh, this is who I am!" when it's not.

I've seen the difference between naturally feminine guys and gay stereotype ones. It's quite staggering. It's like the difference between a naturally feminine girl and a stereotypical hyped-up cheerleader.

To me, the label doesn't fit me to the point where it was actually a hindrance and insulted my masculinity (I am naturally masculine, by the way. I'm also looking for an also masculine guy, if you were wondering.)
Why do I need this label?
So I choose not to use it. Simple as that.
And I felt so much more comfortable with myself and it helped me grow as a person.
I'm a homosexual, it's not even me, it's just who I like.
So why make it seem a huge part of who I am? I'm already comfortable with the fact.

So yeah, there's that summed up in a nutshell.
If you have questions or comments, don't hesitate.

But I have no problem with someone who likes using gay. If it makes you more comfortable like how not using it makes me comfortable.

And unless it's brought up or asked about, then why should I say it? It's not like it's important or anything.

But anyway, that's my spiel.
Now to the questions!

What got you into supporting LGBT rights? Who/What was your inspiration to do so?

Being homosexual, I guess. Equality for the win. Woo. My friend Claire was the inspiration at the time,
so I'd like to thank her for everything.
It's really a pity that's right now she's wrapped up in her own misery.

Have you come out of the closet? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough here in this safe space, share your coming out story with us. How did your parents/friends take it? Describe the scenario.

I suppose you can say I'm out of the closet. I'm honest about it, and hey, if you don't like it, whatever. Your insecurity isn't my problem. Bye.

The first time I admitted it to anyone was via text message to my best friend at the time, Claire. She immediately called me and supported me to the point where I almost drowned. She pushed me to join the GSA, which I did. In my history, saying "Hi, I'm [Name], and I'm a Freshman. And.... yeah, I'm pretty gay." (Even though that term doesn't apply anymore) was one of the best things I ever did; I was on the road to becoming who I aspire to be, that is, a better version of myself.

And that's how it got out for the first time. Yay.

Have you ever been "gay bashed" or know anybody that has? What tips would you give to others to avoid that or to defend yourself?

I know of plenty stories and things that happened to people in my GSA, but I'm confident that I can handle myself and be strong if I ever face it myself. I'm not going to die or get injured because someone didn't follow the golden rule "treat people the way you want to be treated" that we learned in bloody kindergarten.

You just got to stand up for yourself. That's all. And lifting weights help in case a bigot is really violent about it.
Yeah.

*cough*

Thanks for reading this wall of text :D

Last edited by Kiyoshi the Polar Bear; June 3rd, 2011 at 05:34 PM.
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