Champion Game [M]
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July 1st, 2011, 02:00 AM
#1 Yancy fan
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Doctor Drakken's lair
Well, it would seem I've been somewhat remiss in regards to my responsibility of actually
when people talk to me. I apologise sincerely - school snuck up behind me while I was writing and cracked me on the head with a large homeworkhammer. :/ But I'm somewhat in control of that now, even if I haven't finished any of it. :x So from now on, I shall endeavour to take some time once or twice a week to reply to my beloved readers.~
Originally Posted by
Build-up's very masterfully written. Emotion is genuine and I loved Bella Bianchi for trying to expose Ren about the concept of image. Katrina makes me think of Gandalf, a bit when she said she'd 'keep an eye, both as I can spare them'. But I was a bit worried about how Steven saw her differed from how Tash saw her, then it got interesting it was revealed how Katrina saw Tash, and especially when Tash is left with her even longer. Hmm.
Only saw LotR once, and it was some years ago, so if I pinched that from there, it was entirely subconscious. Although I do believe I've seen it in several places. And hrmm, I have big plans for Katrina.
Glad you like Bella, by the way. She was sweet to write.
I love the Dreamlight concept. The volcanic analogy was pulled off brilliantly.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW PROUD I WAS OF THAT ANALOGY WHEN I WROTE IT \o/
Looking forward to the next chapter. (And Now, Something A Little Magical? Hm.)
EDIT: OMG THERE'S MORE BRB
2ND EDIT: -mouth gape- What a ride. At first, I was bummed at the lack of Pokemon, but the battle with Roxanne totally made up for it. Good job.
Hehe. I guess it was a bit abnormal to write a Pokemon fic without . . . y'know, without Pokemon, but it's not really the main focus of this story. Yet at the same time, I really don't want it to be eclipsed by the Dreamlight side . . . humm.
Originally Posted by
I have become one very lazy person so I didn't get to read much of what I missed and I barely remember where I left off. (I plan to read this story again from the beginning at a later date, which will be soon.) I did however, helped myself to the last two updates with this fan fiction.
I admire your ability to write a battle. It takes me many tries to get one right. I can imagine the scene in my head, but I tend to repeat the obvious and soon the flow of the battle is really off and awkward. Because of the disruption of the flow, the battle completely falls apart. It can just take me days to write a battle that is somewhat decent. I wish I had your ability to write a good battle sequence.
I'm glad you feel that way . . . that makes one of us. I have almost no confidence in my ability to write Pokemon battles, mostly because they're the thing I've practiced writing the least.
I didn't find too much wrong with this and I am a bit lazy to point them out, but you are doing a splendid job with this fan fiction so far. :D
Why, thank you~! (Hope you've forgiven me for using a prologue by now? XD)
Originally Posted by
Nice, I particularly enjoyed the latest update.
It seems quite a challenge Roxanne has burdened the Champion with, but liking his moxie.
Eh, Ren'll brush through this, no trouble! Maybe. XD Thanks for reading, by the way. I don't think I've welcomed you properly yet. I also see you're pretty new to the forums, so a general welcome to you as well.
In other news, I'd like to share a 'trailer' I tossed together last night for Champion Game. I posted it in the Trailer For Your Fanfic thread over at Serebii on kind of a whim, but it shouldn't hurt to throw it in here as well - especially considering that I'm actually quite happy with how it turned out. Have a look.
Italics are voiceovers
and [stuff in brackets is direction]
plays softly in the background. The screen is black, but slowly, two points of light come into view. They grow and sharpen until it is clear they are a pair of catlike green eyes]
Ren (whisper): Did I . . . wake up?
[The eyes slowly close]
Elly: Nope. You're still dreaming.
[The eyes flash open, filling the screen with light. The light fades to reveal Ren, standing in a grassy field. Low-angle shot rotates around him as he looks around in confusion. Elly comes into frame as the camera rises behind Ren's head.]
"My purpose is . . . to protect this world, and yours. And now, that's your purpose, too," she says.
"I . . . don't understand," Ren says.
Elly sighs. "I had a feeling you'd say that."
[Cut to black.]
Ren: it's just a dream, right? It's not like I can die or anything.
[A poorly-restrained, amused laugh is heard as the music stops. The screen cuts to a shot of Ren and his young cousin, Natasha, on a train. Natasha is asleep, leaning against Ren, her head bobbing slightly as the train clacks over the tracks..]
Ren: That's me. Ren Goodwin, fourteen years of age. I'm the newest Champion of the Hoenn League.
[With a jarring noise like a rewinding tape, the screen flickers briefly between shots of Ren and his Pokemon battling Steven before returning to Ren on the train. Nothing has changed except for a few extra people standing or sitting around him.]
Ren: I knew it was going to be big, being the Champion, but . . . not this big.
[Again, the screen flashes across several quick shots, this time of Ren receiving his trophy and medal for winning the League. This time, when it returns, there are even more people on the train, partially obscuring Ren from view. It's getting dark outside.]
Ren: This is . . . this is a different level. I don't know what I'm doing.
[More quick shots zap across the screen - Ren mobbed by fans, Ren accosted by journalists, Ren falling into bed in his hotel. Back on the train, Ren is almost completely obscured by the passengers now crowding the train. Outside, it is dark, and there are lights on in the train.]
Ren: Everything I knew . . . No, everything I thought I knew has changed.
[Cut briefly to a close-up of Ren's face before crosscutting back to the longer shot. Ren can no longer be seen. The lights in the train go out, and the screen again goes black.]
Ren: There's . . . another world out there.
[Silence for several seconds.
starts playing again as the screen suddenly cuts to a montage of Ren, a sword held clumsily in his hand, fighting for his life against shadowy black creatures.]
Ren: A hostile world. A world that somehow . . . I've become responsible for.
[As the music reaches a crescendo, there is a flash of light and four figures appear. One is Elly, one is a man in a long, hooded coat and the other two's faces are out of frame, though one is clearly a man and one a woman.]
Ren: Thankfully, I'm not entirely alone.
[The shadowy figures are quickly dealt with - some slashed to pieces, some broken in half by brute force, and others consumed by raging fire. When the smoke clears, Ren and his four allies stand amidst a carpet of melting shadows. A slight mist of rain hisses as it touches the bodies.]
Elly: Don't be mistaken. Even with us, you might not stand a chance.
Ren: It's that bad?
[A crash of thunder, and the screen goes black. From the silence grows a mass of whispering, indistinguishable but menacing.]
Maho: Unto defeat you must play the game - the Champion Game.
[At his last words, the words
appear on the screen in glowing, dark blue type before slowly fading away.]
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