Thread: [Pokémon] Champion Game [M]
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Old July 4th, 2011, 12:40 PM
Bay Alexison's Avatar
Bay Alexison
Not a Baygel
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
Age: 25
Nature: Sassy
Ack, sorry for not being caught up with your story! I have been busy with my own writing and other real life stuff, oi. Okay, my thoughts on the last three chapters:

Chapter Nine
Hm, quite interesting how Steven changed after becoming yehktira. So that’s why he’s fine with the publicity. Looks like Ren won’t like it anything soon… The mention of the Nightmares getting stronger is fascinating too, although them might be impossible to deal with doesn’t sound good. D:

The ending all I’m going to say is Natasha is cute there. XD

Chapter Ten
Haha, here goes Natasha again with her thinking Ren and Roxanne are seeing each other.

Quote:
“She's totally into you,” Natasha advised him, nodding sagely.

“Oh, give it a rest. She's, like, two years older than me or something anyway.”

“That doesn't mean anything these days,” Natasha said dismissively.
I love her. XD

Okay, I admit I had gone “d’awwwww” when Natasha was sad how Ren left all of a sudden and was lonely. :< I do like the compare and contrast how Ren was intimidated with battling Roxanne when he first started his journey and now isn’t, though.

Hm, I don’t think you have to be all descriptive how the Pokemon looked like. I mean, the ones that will read Pokemon fics are Pokemon fans and they should already know how a Zangoose and Golem look like. This is just me, though. ;

Quote:
“All right, then,” Roxanne nodded. “Then as the challenger, you should take the first move.”

“No,” Ren said. “Ladies first, I insist. And besides . . . even though I'm the challenger, I'm the higher-ranked Trainer. You take the first move.”

“I don't think that's-” Roxanne began to protest, but Ren cut her off with a raised eyebrow. “All right,” she sighed. “You're so stubborn.”

“And you're not?”

“No, I'm- oh, forget it,” she harrumphed. “Golem, go! Get started with an Earthquake.”
Why do I find this part cute? XD

Oh, the battle is quite fast pace and intense. Like your take on Bulldoze, even though I haven’t gotten the chance to play my Pokemon Black game yet *grumbles about DS Lite not working* XD And interesting what Ren said how he got to be Champion.

Chapter 11
Nice finish with the battle there! Quite nice Ren has thought up of a strategy, but of course I shouldn’t be surprised with him being a Champion and all. There’s one thing I noticed though: was Natasha watching the whole match? I didn’t catch that. If so, there was no reaction from her. I know this is in Ren’s POV, but him hearing Natasha giving even one small cheer should do it.

Vila and Marcus sound like nice characters and their reasons for going to the Academy are believable. I don’t know why, but I LOLed that the Pokemon Vila will use will be Sandshrew.

Well, everything is looking good so far. Haha, I actually saw that you posted Chapter 12 at Serebii, so there’s still one more chapter but I’m caught up, oi. D: I’ll try my best to review it as soon as you post it, though!

BTW, LOVE the trailer! :D
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