Pokémon - Legends of Kanto
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July 5th, 2011 (1:44 PM).
Join Date: Jun 2011
Originally Posted by
The second chapter was really good too! Though there were some minor typo's if you don't mind my fixing them and pointing out some changes you can make yourself?
Charmander is technically owned by Red, so "its trainer" should be possessive, I.E. It's. You probably knew that, but since the post was so long you missed it. I make that error all the time! You can also combine " He replied with a laugh for his Pokemon’s antics as he opened the door to his front house. His mother gleamed when he entered the house with a Pokemon, immediately rising from her comfy chair." and make it more compact. Remember, periods make longer pauses than commas or semi-colons.
This is really interesting! Thanks for noting my prior post! =]
No problem man, thanks for reading! It means a lot to get a review and criticism for me, it shows me areas I can improve upon. Anyways, minor changes made (I still have yet to edit the first couple paragraphs of the Prologue, I'll do it when I get around to it lol).
Anyways, thanks again for reading and reviewing. The next chapter is on its way, keep an eye out for it!
From your post, I can gather that you're a writer yourself. If you are, I look forward to reading anything you've written!
Credit for the theme goes to Hybrid Trainer
anyways, check out my fanfic, Legends of Kanto
first volume completed, chapter releases on the way!
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