Check to see if your roleplay has been accepted! v.2
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October 10th, 2011 (07:42 PM). Edited October 15th, 2011 by Skymin.
Join Date: Sep 2006
This is a lot better, thanks for fixing it up.
Focus Shift: A New Awakening
Like I said before, this has potential but the plot is extremely hard to read. I very much suggest you read it aloud (like, actually talking) and try and fix up all the grammatical errors. Most of the sentences are too flimsy and hard to put together. Seriously, read it aloud and rewrite the plot.
Disagea: A Darkness is Reborn
psst, you spelt disgaea wrong like... everywhere lol
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