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Old October 22nd, 2011, 11:56 AM
yuki3056's Avatar
yuki3056
Grass Types own
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Johto
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Nature: Jolly
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I am writing a journey fic (I know I know groaannnn) but it is not just a retelling of the games or anything it could fit as the anime more than anything but the storyline isn't near the anime it just seems more like the anime. 4 chapters in and I already have filler Joking aside I need some advice from you wonderful writers!

1. I have a bias already... My story takes place in Sinnoh with Lucas, Barry, and my Protagonist (an OC). Anyways Barry is already shining like a star... Is it possible to make your rivals too glamorous therefore in the end when you beat them it just seems forced? (like the anime?) I mean maybe my OC won't ever beat Barry but if he does I just want to know, would that seem unrealistic since Barry is proving to be more competent than Yuki (my OC lol) and Lucas?

2. Gym battles. I know the anime pulls of winning with type disadvantages but I find it hard to write this, how can a Geodude withstand a mega drain from a grass type? How would I implement something to give the battles a nice feel while still making them last long enough to seem like gym battles?

3. In my 4th chapter it shows Lucas and Yuki battle Roark is that a thing you should avoid? Like two gym battles with the same gym leader or would the reader still keep interested if the battles are different? Like with Roark you know he is just going to attack attack but if the two challengers approach it differently does that make it readable?

4. The villainous team. I know you guys hate that the OC always seems to go after the team for no reason, well my OC has a reason to go after them in the first chapter an incident occurs kind of immediately pitting him against them and in future chapters Team Galactic plays a larger role as do legendaries. Now the question I am posing is this, if the OC somehow stumbles onto this huge evil plot and is thrust into a struggle involving legendaries is this inherently bad or is it the fact people make too obvious? My story by no means will end cookiecutter but so far the start feels a bit cookiecutter to me will people even give it a chance if it starts like this?

5. Pokemon battles, I feel like when people write out detailed descriptions of attacks it feels clunky and the flow doesn't well flow. So my question is is description of all attacks really necessary? I mean if someone is reading my fan fic they don't need detailed descriptions of anything Pokemon related right? So far the only thing I tried to describe in more detail was my OC because he is not a fixture of the series. Also following this same thought process is a lack of detail going to hurt my story? I am writing this fic, which I plan to be a series of about 6, to get this thing of a journey fic from starting trainer to end out of my head before I write my real fic.

Lastly would anyone here be willing to beta read the first 4 chapters for me and let me know what they think so far and what I should add, and take away?

Oh and before I forget feel free to give me tips like what you think I should avoid with this fic and what you'd actually want to see in a journey/OC trainer fic!


Thanks in advance everyone!
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