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December 1st, 2011 (9:29 PM).
Koga Bunshin no Jutsu!
I started reading this a while back when you first posted it, and I have to say that I
your idea, and I think it's a great story!
Granted, the subject matter is a bit out there, but there is fair warning, and the way you introduce Pokémon-based drugs is really cool.
Originally Posted by
“We need to know what else you can do,” Shaun said, the everpresent drawl still there.
Riolu, tired and huffing slightly, turned with a glare.
clutching its hand to its chest where a bruise was showing through the
right after a particularly hard hit from yet another Geodude. Despite
skill with the fighting move and superb strength, over exposure to
move for the young starter was proving to be somewhat damaging. Riolu
low level, and would need much practice, but in the beginning, too
would prove to be unbeneficial and even harmful.
“Ri,” Riolu agreed sourly. Yea, that would be nice, if
human could remember what moves he had or even had a cells worth
“Do that fast thing again,” Shaun said. “The one where
Exasperated, Riolu took a deep breath and searched a bit.
yet another Phanpy and shrugged its shoulder’s a bit. Oh well,
With yet another deep breath, Riolu’s body tensed, and
knew it, his pokemon had become a blur of blue and black that
like a bullet. Barely able to even see Riolu’s true shape, he
blurred form of his pokemon jump from rock to rock in almost no time
straight into a very surprised Phanpy.
“Phaaa!” the ground type yelled, body jerking away from
it had been eating and go sliding. Its eyes had closed and a few
, but it did nothing else. With a coughed huff, the Phanpy stayed down.
“One hit… Good.” All those battles had paid off. He
one of those other trainers that had mocked him were here so he
their face into the ground. Almost.
“Rioo,” Riolu said proudly, walking over to Shaun
down gingerly, clearly spent.
He would need to go back into his pokeball for a rest
relax if his trainer wanted him in fit position. There was still so muchto this route, and they only had a single potion. Riolu wondered if his
force him to fight every pokemon they had encountered. They had done
far, save for the pokemon too far on the other cliffs, and Riolu wondered
trainer truly knew what he was doing. Too much battling, with no one
out with… they wouldn’t make it. His trainer was resolute to
, determined in wanting Riolu to become stronger.
DON'T GIVE UP ON THE SPACEBAR…
As you can see above, the last couple of posts have been sprinkled with soooo many fused words that reading them was
Other than that, I'd just like to re-state that I love the subject matter, I love the way your handling it, and I've always thought that
like this had to be going on in the Pokémon World, and you make it sound like a natural thing, which is (whether you like it or not), exactly what it is in our world.
Anyways, props on plot, subject matter, and general idea,
but pay attention to those spaces
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