Thoughts Upon Passing
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December 6th, 2011, 11:54 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Wow, that thing you mentioned at the end of the second quote was an excellent observation. I never read it like that before and you're right.
I didn't see it because me having written it myself in the first person, I knew what the Pokémon was feeling and thinking and intending with those words.
I can't say I'd change it yet though, since I get the impression you seemed to like it a bit even though it through you off. Is that right?
And yes, the hope and loss are kind of tangled in a way that can come of as somewhat discordant, and a longer piece with some more context and story to it would have given them more space, but for this piece in particular I felt it was stronger being concise without being completely abstract.
Thank you so much for reading and for your valuable feedback!
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