Thoughts Upon Passing
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December 8th, 2011 (05:27 AM).
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Central Coast - Australia
Thirding the whole 'that line was the best' statements being made above, as it was also my favourite. XD
Nicely written all in all - quite liked the way you wrote it and how it played out. I liked how the emotions were portrayed personally; it seemed to fit well/make sense that the Pokemon would be happy and sad for myself. I do have to also agree though that it would have been more effective had there been some more specific memories - it did seem a bit lacking due to the absence of those.
I also wonder what that Pokemon acting as the guide was - my initial guess had been the same species of the narrator's but it seemed hinted later on that it's a specific kind that is not necessarily the same, or at least always the same guide, so I wonder about those bits there out of curiosity.
tell you that I was glad to do what I did even though I was sore afraid.
'so afraid', maybe? Although I suppose you could have purposefully made the expression that he was so afraid as to be sore, but that still strikes me as sounding a bit off personally.
Nice work with this overall - an enjoyable piece. =)
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