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December 8th, 2011, 04:32 PM
This'll be a blast!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Originally Posted by
Our lives are simple, yet our minds ravel.
We meander, flailing paper-thin arms,
Amid golden treasure and teal gravel.
Life, a glassy world of meaningless charms.
Beyond this bowl lies white, black, and austere,
for light only exists while kissing dark.
Our questions equivocate love and fear,
and paint death with brighter worlds to embark.
I may add a stanza or two, when the words come to me.
(Note: I'm quoting this now as stanzas may be added later.)
This poem is touching, it really highlights the fragility of life with "paper-thin arms" and how important each experience can be. I especially relate to the idea of our questions about life concealing the impossible concepts of "love and fear", as if we're doing it on purpose to make death seem like a brighter eventuality. It makes me think that the true treasures of life are something that can only be found deep inside of our "glassy world" that we're trapped in, before venturing out into the black world of darkness that awaits us as a punishment for naivety. I'd love to see a couple more stanzas added in between the two existing, but I think the current second stanza has the perfect final line to finish on, really summarizing the poem. I'd love to hear what themes you were actually intending to relay in this work and compare it to how it makes me feel!
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