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Old December 8th, 2011, 05:24 PM
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Major Ziggs
This'll be a blast!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: England
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nature: Quirky
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixel! View Post
Wobbufett

Spoiler:
You see me alone,
Think this battle’s as good as won,
Send out your best Dark Type,
And you’re in a hype,
You decide to bite,
Sorry kiddo,
Counter you so hard,
You’re feeling very light,
Pyromaniac you're feeling,
But your head is still reeling,
Blast me fire,
That hit was dire,
But if it hurt me,
Twice it did to thee,
Want to make me sick?
For this one,
Safeguard’s will kick in,
There’s no other way,
For me to escape,
This will kill me for once,
I use Destiny Bond,
You enter in a trance,
You kill me,
But before my last breather,
I’m taking you with me,
Let’s go to the Underworld together.
Wow, I love how fast-paced this poem feels! I think there's a few areas where the theme drops a bit though, for example the talk about Pyromaniacs? I assume that's supposed to be a reference to reflecting special type moves as well as physical moves, but maybe I'm wrong. I love how the poem portrays all of Wobbufett's key strengths and attributes, whilst keeping a fast paced and tense rhythm - is this perhaps contrary to Wobbufett's nature and abilities, being a Pokemon designed for lasting and setting up? It does seem to me that there are some areas in which the rhythm starts to collapse a little. For example here:

"Want to make me sick?
For this one,
Safeguard’s will kick in,"

and here:

"You kill me,
But before my last breather,
I’m taking you with me,"

The rhythm seems to change with the middle lines, although it may just be that I'm not reading it in the way you intended. The idea of "going to the underworld together" is a very haunting thought, great choice of words you've used there. All in all, a great poem which real does this Pokemon a lot of justice - I can't wait to see any more work that you do, I'll ensure to visit back here!
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