Rhyming Stories: A Silly Snorlax
View Single Post
December 9th, 2011 (11:01 AM).
Absolutes do not exist
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dani California
All right, I'll say straight out I'm not great with reviewing poetry as I'm still a bit iffy over rhythm schemes and such, but will do my best. One thing I want to say real quick first though is it's better if you hadn't changed the font and color as the readers will have a hard time reading it depending on the default style they use whenever they come to the forums. Just something to consider!
I think the poem is kind of cute. Ha, of course Snorlax will destroy a bridge, though I have to wonder if he or the other Pokemon considered doing entertainment there is a good idea. @__@ The poem seemed rushed though as you didn't expand upon Wailmer and Snorlax's meeting. The two just talk and that's it. No mention of Wailmer being sorry he heard that or offer some word of advice? Another thing is the last two lines is totally fourth the wall breaking and doesn't relate to the poem at all. It would be better if you have the last line or two conclude the poem better.
"Probability is just probability, after all... Absolutes do not exist."
Fanfiction and Writing
Check out PokeCommunity's DeviantArt Group! You can submit your writings there too!
staff collab july
View Public Profile
Send a private message to Bay Alexison
Find all posts by Bay Alexison
Find threads started by Bay Alexison
Ignore Posts by Bay Alexison