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Old December 10th, 2011 (2:55 PM).
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Palladium Palladium is offline
2012 FTW!
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Brazil, why?
Gender: Male
Nature: Calm
Posts: 275
Well, a funny little story, with a good rhythm, but as I’m not a native to the English language, I can’t say about the rhyming systems. Well, for example, when you said he’s always filled with glee and then followed said he wasn’t, inside, it felt strange as “always” is an absolute, that in essence means he has to have glee, and talking I felt that you could have described it a little better, the woods, Snorlax’s performance.

But overall, it’s a funny little poem, so it wasn’t supposed to be very in-depth in the end.
That’s it, hope it’s helpful

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