Rhyming Stories: A Silly Snorlax
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December 10th, 2011 (02:55 PM).
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Brazil, why?
Well, a funny little story, with a good rhythm, but as I’m not a native to the English language, I can’t say about the rhyming systems. Well, for example, when you said he’s always filled with glee and then followed said he wasn’t, inside, it felt strange as “always” is an absolute, that in essence means he has to have glee, and talking I felt that you could have described it a little better, the woods, Snorlax’s performance.
But overall, it’s a funny little poem, so it wasn’t supposed to be very in-depth in the end.
That’s it, hope it’s helpful
"The past has gone, and the future's uncertain, but now is a gift, that's why it's called present"
~ Dex Rotation [Red]
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