Like a boomerang, like a pigeon, like a rubber ball, I return, and bring on my wings the twin gifts of reviewing and... er, something else. I should really start thinking these things through before I start writing them.
OK, onto the review. There are a couple of dialogue-related mistakes here:
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“Zzzhuh?” Black mumbled, “I know, be quiet and let me sleep.”
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That comma after 'mumbled' ought to be a full stop, because the two things Black says aren't part of the same sentence.
Quote:
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“Palkia's plectrum!”, Marylin cursed as she looked about and saw the large group of angry trainers, “don't try to stop us, it's for their own good!”
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Here, you should remove the comma before 'Marylin', and change the one after 'trainers' to a full stop, as well as capitalising the 'don't'. It's all for the same reason as the above example: 'Palkia's plectrum' and 'Don't try to stop us, it's for their own good!' are separate sentences. You make similar mistakes throughout; I suggest you look it over and search them out.
I've already pointed out the slightly dull tone in places, but since you've written this up in advance, I don't think I need to do so again - just be wary of it for whatever chapters you're currently working on.
I do like the reference to Team Plasma's ridiculous battle-cry, 'Plasmaaaaaa!', which is inevitably followed by either a battle or the grunts running away. Equally, I remain a fan of this wonderful Dutch version of Sage Rood, especially given that you've made him ridiculously powerful. I do have to wonder about the force necessary to break a Poké Ball, though - I mean, they
are designed to be chucked around, and they must get knocked about a fair bit. Aside from that, though, Boreas' trick - and Rood himself - were great; I love it when characters lapse into their original language under stress.
In summary, I have no way of gauging how much you're actually improving, but I hope you continue to do so, and I enjoyed these chapters anyway, which leaves this whole statement somewhat irrelevant.
F.A.B.