A Wynaut's Novel
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December 13th, 2011 (4:17 PM).
Join Date: Nov 2011
This is something I think would be much stronger in the form of a full fledged sprite comic rather than an illustrated "fanfic".
As fiction, this doesn't hold up well at all unfortunately.
Try it again as a comic and maybe post it on the art section and see where that gets you?
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