The Beta Place V2
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January 17th, 2012 (8:38 AM).
Title of Story: (I havent decided on that)
(I haven't decided on this either)
Rating (PG, R, etc): PG
Type of mentor needed: Someone who would read and comment without seeing a plot summary. Also willing to suggest a title.
Writing sample of story:
“The weather is perfect for shopping or a nice walk in the Goldenrod Park, stay tuned for our interview later with our Region’s Champion, Lance”
“Did you hear that everyone? It’s a day for shopping! Who’s coming with me?” Rie cheerfully shouted at the large group of Pokémon huddled in front of the TV. They all turned to her, turned to each other, then back at the TV. Rie sighed and ran her hand through her dark long hair. She always brought one of the five Pokémon in her party whenever she went anywhere, but lately, her Pokémon seemed bored.
The days when beating a tough trainer was reason to celebrate is long gone. Mainly because tough trainers to beat are next to none, and winning was like launching a full team on a preschooler’s Rattata. It’s pitiful, and you become the bad guy. Her Pokémon must feel the same way.
Rie consulted the list stuck to the refrigerator. Right between the shopping list and a photo was a list of which of her Pokémon came with her, for what reason and when.
“Luna! It’s your turn!”
An Umbreon walked towards her without expression. Rie had expected a face of annoyance, but out of her team, only Luna had been acting strange. When Rie had first trained Luna as an Eevee, she was the one who expressed the most emotion in anything. Danced in a victory or is the first to start some conversation with her fellow team members. She had taken her to a doctor and found nothing strange. “Hopefully” Rie thought, “it’s because she misses the thrills of battles like I do.”
Other: The story takes quite a while to get to the point, but it does.
Joined Jan 2009
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