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Old February 1st, 2012, 02:29 PM
apenpaap
Togepi
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Gender: Male
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Originally Posted by destinedjagold View Post
Well, to start, I liked the part where his mind tells him that we are from nothing, and so we will return to nothing. Borrowing our life is kind of like taking a little vacation from our state of being nothing. I really liked that part.


I think I first heard that interpretation in a latin text by Seneca I had to translate on my exam. I find it a very comforting way of looking at death.

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Also, I find it an eye-opener about her death, that, instead of grieving for her death, we should instead think of the times we were happy with that someone.
Thinking that way when someone close to you dies will still make you sad, but it's more of a melancholic, almost comfortable sadness than the naked despair you're more likely to feel if you only think about how that person is dead and you'll never see them again. At least, that's how it worked for me.

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Just curious, but did N 'caught' her, or did Aqua just 'joined' him?
Well, she joined them out of her own free will. Whether N battled her and lobbed a pokéball at her: probably not. While that is common in most pokémon stories even if the pokémon wants to join, I've always found it rather weird, and binding a pokémon's ownership to the pokéball it was caught in leads to some logical oddities if you think about it.

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Well, that was stupid of him...
Indeed; stepping into a crossfire isn't really a smart thing to do.

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He, lost?
Aqua is a strong Vaporeon, huh?
Yes. Aside from the type advantage she has over Boreas, she's also a few months older, meaning she's had more experience, and she has lived on her own in the wilderness for a long time.

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I don't think I can handle a situation like that...
Neither can Boreas:

Chapter Forty-One: In the Dead of Night

Boreas woke up in sweat, feeling nauseous and horrible. He trembled with fury, self-loathing, and guilt. He had barely slept the past week because of the way his dreams tormented him, and tonight was no different. The dreams were of course about Aqua, as most of his dreams had been since meeting her. But for the past week what used to be a source of very pleasant dreams was now a source of nightly torment. The dreams by themselves weren't even that bad, except for the one where he relived their fight. In fact they were quite similar to the ones he used to have before finding out she had betrayed him. But the way they made him feel was completely different. They only reminded him of what he'd lost now.

Boreas wanted to be alone. He stood up and silently sneaked away from the camp where his companions were sleeping peacefully. The eternal semi-darkness of Chargestone Cave was the same whether it was day or night. He pointlessly walked for a bit until he reached a deep gorge. Down in the depths mighty sparks flared occasionally. He sat down at the edge to look into it.

He felt as if his life had fallen into a deep, black gorge of despair, much like this one except more metaphorical and with less lightning sparks. Just ten days ago, his greatest worry had been Octa's silly determination to let his family choose his mate. Now his best friend was furious at him, his second-best friend was dead, and his girlfriend... Well, she was his girlfriend no more. He still couldn't believe the girl he loved had joined Team Plasma. It was treason of the worst kind, and he hated her for it, yet he cringed in shame and guilt when he remembered the things he'd said to her. Now that the fury had disappeared he felt horrible about his words and deeds. He realised he would never have reacted like that if it hadn't been for the fresh wound of Capella's death. Of course, he would've been furious at the treason regardless, but never in such a horribly nasty way. And Capella would've stopped him, and she wouldn't have gotten angry and given up even if he had insulted her like he had insulted Octa.

The horrible things they had both said during their fight kept echoing through his mind, even when he was awake. And it had only gotten worse as his sleep deprivation caused him to be only half awake at best. There was nothing he could do to take his mind off it: most of his other memories just weren't powerful enough. Those of Octa and Capella were quite powerful but only made it worse because they reminded him of what he had lost; memories of the blissful days he had had with Aqua were even worse. There was nothing he could do in the present to take his mind off it either: the dark environment of Chargestone Cave offered no distractions and neither his companions nor he were in the mood for conversation. Even the future offered no relief: his hopes and dreams seemed to have shattered or become hollow. Becoming the Champion would never bring back Capella or make Aqua's treason, or at least the things he'd said to her, undone. The awesome glory of helping Black become the most powerful trainer in Unova seemed empty and bleak. Stopping Team Plasma seemed impossible. Even getting revenge for Capella and his destroyed life didn't seem to hold that much appeal now that his anger was gone. It didn't matter anyway: he realised now how much luck they'd had not to lose any party members before, and that they should really all have been dead five times over already. Team Plasma was just too mighty, there was no stopping them. Aqua had probably been right when she had said Team Plasma was the winning side.

Aqua had said she had joined N out of loneliness. The realisation that she was lonely because Boreas had chosen not to go with her crushed him with guilt. She would never have joined N if he had been there. He had made the wrong choice, and it had destroyed his life. He'd gladly give up what little was left of it to have made the right choice. The things that had happened since he made his choices, the things that had been said could never be reversed. Aqua would never forgive him, and he would never forgive her. And he wouldn't forgive himself either.

Everything seemed to be gone now. Happiness, joy, hope, and love. Anger and hate had taken their place at first, but now even they had gone. Boreas was left with nothing but mountains of sorrow, guilt, and despair. He stood up and looked into the depths of the gorge. He'd jump in without hesitation if it meant undoing all this. In fact, as he looked into it those depths felt very attractive even if they didn't undo anything. He longed for his despair and guilt to be gone, and couldn't help but think that just a small step forward would take them away forever.

What did he have to live for? He had lost everything, and there was no way to get it back. A shiver went through him as Aqua saying he had only been interested in her looks echoed through his mind, and he cringed as he remembered his reply. Was he really only interested in her looks? She was gorgeous, there was no doubt about it, but Boreas was sure he'd been interested in more. He loved talking to her, listening to her, and had supported her when she was at her weakest... How could she say he was only interested in her looks?

With regret he knew exactly how she could say that as he remembered his reaction to her choice. He had called it treason and yelled at her for it, deeply insulted her. Yet, though he still thought it was treason, he had to agree that it was typically her choice. It was something she really believed in, and he had hated her for it, despite his claims of loving her.

The memories to the happy, carefree days he'd spent with her in Driftveil made him feel even worse, if such a thing was possible. The gorge seemed to beckon. Just one step forwards, and it would all be over. No more despair, no more guilt, no more sorrow, no more horrible memories. Just one step, and gravity would take care of the rest. He'd never even feel the impact, it'd be quite painless.

He lifted his paw, but something in him held him back. But he asked that something what he had to lose. His life was over and he was dead inside, he might as well make it official. He stepped on, put his paw into the empty air, and tumbled into the gorge.

-

Aqua trembled with anger as she remembered the names Boreas had called her. She had made the choice to fight for what's right with her friends, and he dared call her a traitor for it? She couldn't believe she had once loved him. Clearly that had been a complete mistake, and she'd only liked him because he was the first person she'd talked to in ages. Obviously she had never really been in love at all with him, so what did she care about his opinion? He was just some annoying, close-minded Glaceon who had joined the wrong side. She didn't care at all about his opinion or him.

So why was it she trembled with fury and had to fight tears whenever the things he'd said echoed through her mind? Clearly it must just be that she was sensitive to others' opinion of her. She would've reacted the exact same if Octa had said that, or-

Oh, who am I trying to fool? Aqua sighed, obviously I was completely in love with him, before I found out what a bastard he really is.

She remembered the happy days she'd spent with him with pain in her heart. After all those months of sad loneliness, she had been completely mesmerised by the cute, witty, charming and kind Glaceon. She remembered how happy and flattered she had felt whenever she'd caught him staring at her. She had been so sure she would have a wonderful future with him... She had thought he felt the same way about her, but now she knew better. He had been interested in nothing but her looks. If he really loved her, he would've accepted and supported her choice, as she'd expected him to do.

Or was he right? Maybe I did betray him... A small voice inside her said.
Never! He just couldn't accept my choice, accept me! He wants to dominate me and direct my choices, but I won't let him! She furiously silenced the voice.

It had taken her just one day, one single day, to become miserable after she'd said goodbye to Boreas when he left Driftveil. She'd been utterly mistaken: loneliness felt even worse with lovesickness added to it. Her feelings told her to get to Mistralton as soon as possible, though she knew it would take Boreas more than a month to get there too.

Three days after they had said their goodbye, Aqua had stopped at the riverbanks for the evening when it had all become too much and she'd cried.

-

Past

"Hey, beautiful," a voice said sympathetically, "don't cry, I'm sure whatever it is will get better."

Aqua turned around with start and saw a Jolteon grinning at her charmingly. "Don't sneak up on me like that! Who are you and what do you want?!"

"Sorry. My name is Diego, and I want to bring a smile to those pretty cheeks. Surely whatever it is will feel better if you share it with me."

"Diego?" Aqua frowned.

"Yes, that's my name. If you don't like it, feel free to think of a nickname."

"Oh, no, it's just that name reminds me of someone. Some bastard Zoroark who once hung my boyfriend from a Ferris wheel by his tail."

The face Diego made caused Aqua to burst into laughter. "Yeah, I know it sounds bizarre, but there's a long story behind it."

"Yeah," Diego grinned, "It certainly does sound bizarre. So, that sounds like it was painful to your boyfriend. I mean, he could lose his tail that way..."

"Oh, not to worry. His tail was still attractive. Uh, I meant attached." Aqua blushed at her little slip.

"Well, that's great. So, where is your boyfriend then? I'd love to hear this story from him."

"He's travelling to Mistralton with his trainer. I'm travelling there separately because I don't like humans."

A cunning grin flashed over Diego's face, but was immediately exchanged for a friendly smile. "Don't like humans and headed for Mistralton? Well, isn't that a coincidence, I don't like humans either, and I'm travelling by Mistralton with a friend - he's a pokémon, of course. Why don't you travel with us?"

Aqua's heart brightened at the chance of travelling with companions, especially the nice Jolteon. "I'd love to! I hope your friend won't object..."

"What, object to such a pretty girl joining us? Never. C'mon, let's go to the place where I agreed to meet him."

-

Diego took her to a clearing nearby where they waited for his friend while they chatted amicably. Finally a Slowking entered the clearing.

"Norin," Diego immediately greeted the Slowking, "great to see you again!"

The Slowking frowned in puzzlement for a moment, then greeted Diego. "Hi, Diego. I see you had more luck with finding new friends than I did."

"Yeah," Diego grinned. "This is Aqua. Aqua, this is my friend Norin."

Aqua greeted Norin. "So... You two were actually looking for new friends? Why?"

"Well," Norin explained, "we are on a mission. A mission to make a perfect world. Did you tell her yet, Diego?"

"No, you tell it better."

"Okay. Well, Aqua, have you ever heard of Zekrom?"

"Of course," said Aqua, "it's one of the legendary dragons that were created when the original dragon of Unova was split into two."

"Yes. The original dragon was split into two by the foolish humans commanding it. Humans are unlike pokémon, selfish and evil, and so they caused the dragon to split by their enmity. Zekrom embodies ideals, and I have a dream of a perfect world where humans and pokémon are separated. An ideal world, where pokémon can finally be perfect beings. But I won't achieve that by force: I will reawaken Zekrom, and together we will defeat the most powerful human trainers. Then everyone will see how perfect free pokémon are and liberate their pokémon."

"But what about people who don't liberate their pokémon? And why do you need me?"

"You underestimate Zekrom's power. And I need you to help me become friends with Zekrom and to get to Dragonspiral Tower, where we can summon it."

Aqua thought it was great she could actually do something about the humans in this way, and very much wanted to help Norin, but there was one problem. "I can help you along, but I have to stay behind in Mistralton. I promised my boyfriend I'd wait for him there. But I'd be delighted to help you until then."

-

Present

Aqua had thought for two weeks that N was a pokémon, before Diego finally dropped the illusions masking the both of them. Aqua had been furious and attacked both her new friends. But she realised that even with the deception they were still the only friends she had at the moment. She didn't want to go back to being lonely and alone. Besides, Boreas hadn't really told her anything bad about N, and she couldn't help but agree with him, and he really had a good plan. She had a very hard time to trust a human, though. But N explained that he had been raised by pokémon ever since he was a child. He believed his parents had been pokémon, and he had been born in the form of a human to be able to convince the humans their ways of treating pokémon were wrong. Ghetsis and the other Sages had decided to help him and created Team Plasma to fulfil his dream. He considered the Sages as wise, good men, though flawed and on occasion too cruel. Aqua wasn't sure whether N's parents could really have been pokémon or that he had just been abandoned to pokémon as a child, but either way he wasn't raised by humans but by pokémon. His behaviour was very inhuman, and it was easy to think of him as a fellow pokémon.

Diego, on the other hand, had not really been able to explain his behaviour satisfactorily. Apparently he hadn't even told N about what he'd done to Boreas, and the human was as angry as Aqua at him for it. Aqua had scolded and Scalded him furiously for the way he'd tormented Boreas. But of course forgiveness came a lot easier to N, as Diego had been his lifelong friend and he didn't love Boreas like Aqua did.

"Hey there, gorgeous," said Diego as he sat down next to her.

"What do you want, Diego?" Aqua snapped.

"I just want to cheer you up a bit. You know I rather see a gorgeous smile then a gorgeous frown on that pretty face."

"Save it, Diego. I'm not going to cheer up, not after what happened."

"I think you will if you place it into perspective: you lost your boyfriend, but he was a git anyway. He joined the evil human oppressors and called you a traitor for joining the right side. He even tried to kill you, I saw it with my own eyes. You've got your friends to help you through this. Maybe I can even be more than just a friend to you..."

"What?"

"Well, when we told Boreas we were mates, it was just a lie to hurt him like he'd hurt you, of course. But why don't we make that lie a truth? It's over between you now, after all, so we can both give in to the natural magnetism that's been between us ever since we first met."

Aqua felt pretty uncomfortable at that proposal. On the one hand she wanted to say yes. Diego was attractive, powerful, fighting for what was right, and strong. He had always treated her well and supported her, even when Boreas didn't. But another part of her realised she felt nothing for him, while her heart had burnt and in a way still burnt, for Boreas. Because even though she hated Boreas now, part of her was still immensely attracted by him. "No. Sorry, Diego, but I think we're better off as just friends."

"Okay. I understand, it is rather short notice, isn't it? I never asked you before, because I knew you had a boyfriend, but now that you're free I figure we can hook up. But of course I'll give you a while to think about it."

"Diego, that's not what- You had better take that paw off my hip right now or I'll take it off your arm," Aqua said only half-jokingly.

Diego quickly retracted his arm. "Okay, sorry about that. It's hard to resist touching such beauty."

"Well, you'd better learn resisting it, because I'm not at all interested in you in that way."

"Then what're you going to do? Go back to Boreas?"

"Never!" she exclaimed, though part of her wanted to. But she recognised that even if she forgave him for some unfathomable reason there was no way he'd want her back after the things she'd said and done. Maybe she had really betrayed him... Joining N after all that Team Plasma had put him through was very inconsiderate, she had to admit, even if it was the right choice. She trembled as the way he'd called her a traitor echoed through her mind. His voice had really ringed with the deepest sound of betrayal. She realised that maybe he really did love her, and had just felt incredibly betrayed by her choice.

"Hey, are you alright, handsome?" Diego asked.

"Yes," Aqua lied. "Yes, just leave me alone for a bit. I... Need to think about some things."

"Of course," Diego grinned. "You shouldn't rush into a relationship."

As Diego left her, Aqua remembered how Boreas had supported her when she'd needed him most. Falling asleep in his arms had been wonderful and she really began to question her sanity in questioning whether he really loved her as she remembered his passionate kisses. Of course he did. He loved her, and now she had destroyed any chance they might have at being together happily.

But, another part of her angrily brought up, even if he really did love her, he had still been horrible to her. She was a traitor, was she? A ***** and a filthy ****, and Capella's blood was on her paws? Even if they had loved each other, that was unforgivable. But then she realised just how it must've felt for him to have Capella, who he liked very much, die at Team Plasma's hands and then find out his girlfriend joined N. And then the things she'd said to him... She had tried to remain calm and explain the situation to him, but his words had infuriated her, and she had said some really mean things herself. She felt horrible and ashamed as she remembered it.

-

Boreas suddenly felt like his inner organs were being squeezed out through his mouth and arse as rope-like things caught him around his belly and heaved him up. He reached the top of the chasm and stood eye to eye with a furious Octa.

"Have you gone stark raving mad?!" Octa shouted.

Boreas was dumbfounded. In the year he'd known Octa, the Servine had never yelled at him. "O-Octa, I-"

"Yes, you! That's who it's all about with you, isn't it?! You!"

"That's not-"

"Just because things aren't going your way for a bit, you decide to top yourself?! I have never heard of such a despicably selfish act, and am tempted to push you into that gorge myself!"

"I-"

"The thought of how your suicide would affect us never even crossed your egotistic mind, did it?! Capella gave her life to save yours, and you would just waste her sacrifice by throwing your life away?! You would give us another friend to mourn?! How is Black supposed to deal with that?! How am I supposed to deal with that?! Hmm?"

Octa was right, Boreas hadn't tried to see it from that side yet. "I-I hadn't thought of that..."

"No, you hadn't, had you?! You stupid, inconsiderate, selfish nincompoop!"

"Octa, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you still cared..."

Octa took a deep breath. He stopped shouting and returned to his normal angry state: icy, snide, and calm. "You think just because you gravely insulted me and my family your death wouldn't affect me?Honestly, 'tis a shame such a smart mind is wasted on one as stupid as you."

"Sorry. Sorry for everything, I didn't mean what I said to you. And I shouldn't have tried to kill myself, you're right. But Capella's death and Aqua's treason just affected me so much... You don't know what it's like, the emotions blind me and fill my entire being. I-I wish I was like you, without these emotions bothering me!"

Octa's eyebrows raised in surprise. "You think I have no emotions? I am no emotionless automaton, of course I have emotions. I just have a far better control over them than you, my dear fellow. I am as sorrowful as you are about Capella's death, but I don't let that sorrow control me and make me a depressed wreck. I am furious about your attempt to kill yourself and the insults you hurled at me, but I do not let that anger control me and make me a raging maniac."

"Can you teach that to me?"

"Well, 'tis not like an easy trick one can simply be taught. 'Tis a form of self-discipline that requires a lot of effort and time to learn. I can only advice you to breathe deeply and try to calm yourself whenever your emotions threaten to overwhelm you. Always listen to your mind, not to your heart."

"I guess... Octa, what should I do about Aqua? I mean, she betrayed me and said all kinds of horrible things."

"Well, I do have some advice on that subject."

"Yes?"

"Get over yourself."

"What?!" Boreas snarled angrily.

"Do you think your world view is the only valid one? Just because Aqua doesn't agree with you doesn't mean she betrayed you. I doubt betrayal was in her mind for even a moment."

"But she joined Team Plasma, the people who killed Capella!"

"Yes, she did. But let me ask you something important: how much do you love her?"

"I don't," Boreas lied.

"Poppycock. How much do you love her?"

"Fifty kilohearts!" Boreas sarcastically replied. "How am I supposed to quantify a feeling?"

"Close your eyes. Try to feel the full extent of your adoration for her. Now imagine it as a flame. Tell me how warmly it burns."

Boreas did so and resolutely stated: "It'd burn Moltres-wings to dust."

Octa whistled in amazement.

"And it's a bit too big and warm to be called a flame. More like the nuclear fires of a star, really."

"Well, if that is how you wish to characterise it, let me continue along that metaphor: if nurtured and allowed to prosper, a star can illuminate an entire solar system, and sustain biospheres of life on nearby planets. However, if not nurtured, a star dies. It does so in a supernova of unmatched catastrophic proportions, annihilating absolutely everything in its vicinity, vaporising entire solar systems. If your love is truly like the nuclear fires of a star, you seem to have two choices of how to handle it. Now I am getting tired, therefore I shall go to bed. Be warned that I shall never forgive you if you decide to make jumping into gorges a habit."
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