Quote originally posted by 2Cool4Mewtwo:
As for confirmation, there is no "list" that keeps the record of who has been confirmed or not, unless you can provide a counter-example for it, in the form of a picture or whatever that'll convince me to think otherwise. Excommunication that you've mentioned is what happened in the middle ages, which is obsolete by now. If you truly want to distance yourself away from God, then just don't let these thoughts get into your head.
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They even keep a list of who donates how much in each individual church using the pre-made donation envelopes they send you, do you really think that they don't bother to record who was confirmed? Her wish to not be officially "in" the church is completely reasonable. When the Church claims that they have 65 million members in the United States, she doesn't want to be a part of that number.
They also record who goes to mass and who doesn't week to week, how often Catholics receive Eucharist at mass, how many people go to Confession regularly, and things such as that. Check out various statistics like that here.
It's unfair to tell her basically "I wouldn't have a problem with being considered part a Church I want to distance myself from so you shouldn't have a problem with it".