The Ballad of Greg Thomas
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February 13th, 2012 (5:41 PM). Edited February 13th, 2012 by FourCartridge.
Join Date: Dec 2010
Thanks for the feed back.
As for the whole Greg looking like he's a native thing, not to offend you, but you should've read a little closer. That's not Greg. It's Anthony, a character I created just so Greg has a way to get into the Pokemon World. I wanted to show the whole incident about the portal from that side so the reader wouldn't get blindsided and ask rapid fire questions when Greg went through. Don't worry, Him and the Alakazam lose significance after the Prologue, so you shouldn't get confused about who's who.
I did the spacing thing in an attempt to make reading it easier on people's eyes. Guess I overdid it.
As for the Hyper Rare Candy, getting Greg into the Pokemon world was one of the problems I had when creating the plot. I had no idea how to get him so far from home and set up the premise, so I wrote on a writers block forum about that and the only suggestion I got was "Freak Accident". Though you do have a point about it being illegal; Should've added in a sentence or two about it being recalled shortly after the trainer got one.
As for the crash buildup, I really wanted to write about that from Greg's perspective, because that's where he enters the story and I wanted to show it in his shoes.
As for elaborating on visuals, That part's a little tricky, but a few descriptive words here and there should fix that problem.
Once again, thanks.
The rest of the fic is going to be in Greg's 1st person view. I find it's easier to get into his mind and write what he would do and react if I do it that way.
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