Thanks, it's good to be back!
Not much to fault here, really, although I did find the Sentret's tangent rambling a touch overdone after a while. I do wonder what it had done to be outcast by the other clan on that note... I didn't feel the first scene separator was necessary either, although there's not much issue with keeping it there either I suppose. The last line felt a bit disjointed as well from the previous and I wonder if the chapter would feel better finished without it, or at least some rewording to clarify that it was the way the sentret spoke was so cold (assuming that wasy what you had meant).
I'm glad you find it interesting so far. The rambling/thinking too much is part of the sentret's personality, so I'll have to be sure not to make it look overdone in the future. Thanks for pointing it out.
The beginning sector was mostly supposed to be an attention getter and give the reader the first impression on the sentret's questioning and "dwelling on the past" personality.
I"ll also fix the ending to clarify that, yeah, the way that the sentret spoke was cold.
I'll fix that. I have a tendency to be wordy and not make sense sometimes, unfortunately, so thanks for pointing that out and for reviewing~
Well, let me first say that it's great to see someone making full use of the first person. So many times, I've seen people missing the opportunity to really develop the character of their narrator, by manipulating their voice and choice of words - but here? It took me about two paragraphs to get the measure of the Sentret. That's not a good thing, that's a great thing.
I'm glad that you like the first person, since I don't have much experience with writing it. The first part was to give a first impression of the sentret's personality, too, so I'm glad it worked well for you.
It's a trifle clumsy, probably because of the repeated 'enough', and also possibly because it's so much longer than the first question. There are a couple of other places where the wording's slightly awkward as well, one of which was pointed out by bobandbill. It's nothing major, but I thought I'd point it out; if a story can be made better then it ought to be made better, in my view.
I'll keep this in mind and try to make it flow better (in the future as well), thanks. I agree that it any piece of work should be made better if possible, so I appreciate the comments~
I was worried that someone would think this, and I tried to explain it by saying that Senori sees/listens to all the new trainers coming by the forest (since he stands guard an awful lot), so he's heard and seen many things over the years. Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough, or that's not a good enough reason. Hmm.
Will fix the errors, thanks! And will have to make sure I look over future chapters better.
Lol, it does seem minor, though I can see why it's annoying. I'll go back and fix it and try to use it correctly in the future. Thanks for reviewing!