Thread: Love is blind?
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Old February 25th, 2012 (06:26 AM).
psyanic's Avatar
psyanic
There's Something About Lamps
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The USA
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Nature: Bold
Love. You have quite an interesting piece. It got me thinking a bit, especially after I read it for the fifth time. I guess I can't really look for more in this poem. It looked fine, except there are a few typos here and there.

Quote originally posted by gwenvar:
Love is blind?
It sure is!
Actually, right here, I thought the exclamation point was off. I mean it looked out of place in comparison to the overall theme of your poem. Then again, now that I think about it, love has downsides and upsides. It gives you joy, happiness, depression, etc. It's so many emotions into one. It's so complicated isn't it?

Quote originally posted by gwenvar:
The formerly so dark,
So shadowy creatures
I thought that the bolded so was a bit unnecessary. So-dark is kind of... well... weird, I guess. Sorry I used "weird" for a lack of a better word. I think if you just took out the bolded so, the flow would be easier.

Quote originally posted by gwenvar:
Once begin toturn their backs
And I think this is a typo. It should be two words, "to turn".

Quote originally posted by gwenvar:
That they see „clearly"
In their real world?
Something funny happened with "clearly". I see some kind of double-comma punctuation mark, and it's odd. Sorry, had to say it.

Overall, I liked it, especially the last stanza. It conveys feelings as well as questions and that's always a good thing with poems.
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