Thread: Love is blind?
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Old February 25th, 2012 (6:26 AM).
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psyanic psyanic is offline
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Love. You have quite an interesting piece. It got me thinking a bit, especially after I read it for the fifth time. I guess I can't really look for more in this poem. It looked fine, except there are a few typos here and there.

Originally Posted by gwenvar View Post
Love is blind?
It sure is!
Actually, right here, I thought the exclamation point was off. I mean it looked out of place in comparison to the overall theme of your poem. Then again, now that I think about it, love has downsides and upsides. It gives you joy, happiness, depression, etc. It's so many emotions into one. It's so complicated isn't it?

Originally Posted by gwenvar View Post
The formerly so dark,
So shadowy creatures
I thought that the bolded so was a bit unnecessary. So-dark is kind of... well... weird, I guess. Sorry I used "weird" for a lack of a better word. I think if you just took out the bolded so, the flow would be easier.

Originally Posted by gwenvar View Post
Once begin toturn their backs
And I think this is a typo. It should be two words, "to turn".

Originally Posted by gwenvar View Post
That they see „clearly"
In their real world?
Something funny happened with "clearly". I see some kind of double-comma punctuation mark, and it's odd. Sorry, had to say it.

Overall, I liked it, especially the last stanza. It conveys feelings as well as questions and that's always a good thing with poems.
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